It's funny when
by mistressinwaiting
Summary: -In which, Sakura's parents are embarrassing CHP 73
1. He's Going to Jail

-In which, Sakura and Konoha 11 have already foreseen Sasuke's return and this is their reactions to when he does come back…

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**Yay! This is my 29th fanfic and my 13th oneshot! Yay! It's based loosely on one of the stories from _Azumanga Daioh_. Enjoy!**

**NOTE: Dialogue is only between Team 7.**

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❤❀~He's Going to Jail~❀❤

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"Hey, Sakura-chan! Everyone! Look who's back!"

"Eh? Sasuke-kun? You . . . you actually came back?"

"Hn."

"Gee, don't you think that was a _bit_ stupid? I mean, you're an international criminal and even sided with Akatsuki. Aren't you scared you'll get thrown in jail or executed?"

"Hey, don't worry, Sakura-chan! I'll make sure the Teme's not going to jail."

Sakura just awkwardly smiled before turning to the rest of Konoha 11. "Get those words of consolidation ready!"

And everyone just nodded.

"EH? Don't anyone of you believe in the Teme?"

"Dobe, they just don't believe in you."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**Done! So . . . what ya think?**


	2. Their Realization

-In which, Sakura and Kakashi express their feelings about the new movie coming up

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**Okay, just for fun since the new movie coming out doesn't sound like it'll interest me right now.**

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°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Their Realization~❀❤

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"WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU MEANING TO TELL ME THAT _BOTH_ MY TEAMMATES ARE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINALS NOW?"

"Wow, two out of three of my students are wanted men. Hm, must be a new record."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**So . . . you guys like it?**


	3. Choji's Wisdom

-In which, Shikamaru can't decide and Choji gives advice

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**Okay, another chapter for fun since I can't decide which pair I like better: ShikaIno or ShikaTema.**

**And also, I'm guessing you all can tell that this fanfic isn't a oneshot anymore. It's more like a drabble thing of many different onshots or something like that. (Sorry, my termology isn't that good.)**

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❤❀~Choji's Wisdom~❀❤

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"Well, there's only one thing to do, Shikamaru."

"What's that?"

"Dump them both and come with me to the new BBQ resturant down the street. My treat."

**[Insert glares]**

"Okay, fine. We can order take out. _Then_ we stare at the clouds."

"Oh, you're no help _at all_!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**So . . . you guys like it? And also, just so I have a feeling of who's on which side, are you a ShikaIno fan or ShikaTema fan?**


	4. It's Pocky

-In which, Itachi and Kisame head to the supermarket

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**Okay, this chapter is again for fun. But this time, I can't take all of the credit. My sisters helped me with this one. It's just something we came up with while we were at the Chinese supermarket.**

**Oh, and keep in mind, Itachi and Kisame are both a bit OOC.**

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❤❀~It's Pocky~❀❤

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"OH—MY—FOOLISH _GOD_!"

"What's wrong, Itachi?" Naturally, Kisame had his sword out, ready to defend his partner as always. But of course, that wasn't necessary. _This_ time.

"IT'S _POCKY_!" And the Uchiha shook the little box in front of the swordsman.

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Um . . . _Pocky_?"

"Yes, Pocky."

". . . _That's_ why you screamed?"

"What do you mean by _that_? Oh, and I'll have you know that I did not _scream_. I _exclaimed_ out loud my thoughts. And I'll also have you know, Foolish Large Partner, Pocky is the _best _there is! Here"—he took a stick out and waved it in front of Kisame's face—"I know you want it."

And so, Kisame took the stick-biscuit. But instead of eating, he also snatched away the box in Itachi's hands and chucked it far, _far_ away.

"WHY _THE HELL_ DID YOU DO THAT, _HN_? IT WAS _POCKY_! _POCKY_!"

"PRECISELY! IT'S JUST CHOCOLATE-COVERED BISCUIT-STICK-THINGYS! WHAT'S SO _GREAT_ ABOUT THEM?"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"You're right, Kisame."

"That's good to hear."

"It's the strawberry-covered ones that are the best."

A GIGANTIC sweatdrop rolled down Kisame's face.

"What? It reminds me a bit of my future sister-in-law."

"Um . . . are you talking about that pink-haired chick your brother's teammates with?"

A nod.

"Um . . . you know they're not dating, _right_?"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Hey! A guy can dream, _can't_ he, _hn_?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**So . . . you guys like it? And also, if you guys have a couple of characters you want to see a small oneshot about, please tell me. I shall try and write one for you. And another thing, please write fanfics for Ton-ton! She's only got one fanfic in her category. It's so sad. I'm going to start writing a drabble series about her soon, so I hope you'll understand where I'm coming from.**


	5. Sakura's MessUp

-In which, probably for the first time ever, Sakura's fight with her Inner gets Naruto yelled at

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**Yay! New chapter! Well, actually, it's from yesterday, May 10th 2011, but I decided to hold on to this for a bit since I wanted people to have time to read the "_It's Pocky_" chapter. Enjoy!**

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❤❀~Sakura's Mess-Up~❀❤

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**_Yes!_**

_No!_

**Yes_!_**

No_!_

**_*Scoffs*_**

_Bitch..._

**_Well, that makes you an even _bigger_ one!_**

_SHUT UP FOR _ONCE_! YOU LITTLE IMP!_

**Excuse me_? Did you just—_**

_Yeah, I did. Just what are you going to do about it?_

**_You horrid little—hey, wait, did Naruto just said what I _think_ he said?_**

_Huh? What? What did he say?_

**_Why don't you ask him yourself, Forehead?_**

_Hey, only _Ino_ can call me that! And last time I checked, you aren't Ino!_

**_Who cares? Just listen to what that idiot said!_**

_What did he say?_

**_GO ASK _HIM, _YOU BIG-FOREHEADED, GREEN-EYED _FREAK_!_**

"WAIT! _WHAT_ DID YOU SAY?"

✿｡.:***Meanwhile, at the start of the conversation in the outside world***:.｡✿

"Um . . . Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is Sakura glaring at that poor tree?"

"I don't know."

"What did you do, Naruto?"

"I didn't do anything this time, Kakashi-sensei! I swear! I only told her Sasuke was back, that's all!"

"WAIT! _WHAT_ DID YOU SAY?"

"AHH! KAKASHI-SENSEI, SHE'S ANGRY AT ME! WHAT DID I DO _WRONG_?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**rEvIeW pLeAsE!**


	6. Follow the Damn Script

-In which, something Sakura says brings up a memory that neither she or Sasuke want to relive and it ends up with them death-threatening each other

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**Yay! New chapter! My sister came up with this one after she saw the preview for _Shippuden _episode 212. Enjoy!**

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❤❀~Follow the Damn Script~❀❤

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"I'll leave Konoha!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"_Well_? Aren't you going to _say_ something, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn. Just remembering things."

". . . What _things_?"

". . . ."

"Hey, aren't you going to"—and suddenly realization hit her—"THE HELL? BASTARD! YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT F***ING NIGHT YOU LEFT KONOHA, AREN'T YOU?"

The Uchiha inwardly cringed at the girl's language (and loudness). "Hn."

"OH, DON'T YOU _'HN'_ ME! YOU STILL HAVE TO GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION OF _WHY_ YOU LEFT ME ON A BENCH IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A _LITTLE_ BIT MORE CONSIDERABLE AND JUST BROUGHT ME HOME OR BETTER YET, LEFT ME ON THE FLOOR! EVEN THE DIRT'S MORE COMFORTABLE THAN _THAT_ BENCH! WHAT KIND OF GENTLEMAN ARE YOU? I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH, YOU'RE _NOT_! AND—"

It was at the moment Kakashi decided to pop in. "Sakura! Thank goodness, you're alright and—" A LARGE sweatdrop rolled down his head when he saw the scene in front of him. _Really_? _Really_? He had just rushed for _miles _nonstop —he most likely had a hernia now—to save his female student from his very dangerous ex-student, and it turns out she's _alright_? OH, and better yet, she's _yelling_ at said very dangerous ex-student? _Oh, wow, did I forget to take my pills this morning?_

Meanwhile, Sakura continued with her rant. "_YOU SIR_ ARE A HORRIBLE DISGRACE TO ALL OF MANKIND! I COULD'VE GOTTEN A COLD OR SOME OTHER DEADLY DISEASE AND DIED FROM IT! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WOULD NEVER SHOW ME THE SAME EMOTION YOU SHOW _NARUTO_! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO _BLIND_! YOU'RE PROBABLY _IN LOVE_ WITH _HIM_!"

Now, both Kakashi and Sasuke stared at the girl with eyes almost as wide as the moon. She did _not_ just say that.

"OH, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN! IN FACT, I SHOULD'VE—"

"Sakura. Don't _make_ me Chidori you."

"HA! As if you _could_! You're probably afraid of _touching _girls! Oh, but don't worry, Sasuke-kun. Naruto should be here _any_ minute."

"_Sakura—_"

"In fact, I hear him now."

At this, Kakashi cuffed his hand around his ear. _Really? She can hear him? What does she have? More than 20-20 hearing? Great, superstrength and super-ears. What in the world did Tsunade teach this girl?_

_"_Just five more minutes, Sasuke! Just five more _minutes_! Then you can be gay!"

"You know, I was wrong." the Uchiha said, finally able to get a word in. "You're even _more_ annoying than back then! In fact, I'm _glad_ that I didn't go back to Konoha! If I did then I would've been stuck with _you_!"

"**[GASPS]** Oh, no, you DID _NOT_ just say that!"

"Um . . . calm down, kiddies," Kakashi said, trying to stop a soon-coming battle. He was now hiding behind a very LARGE rock. (Hopefully, he would not get caught in the crossfire.) "Calm down _please_."

"Oh, and what are you going to do about it?"

"I'LL KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT MONTH, _SHANNARO_!"

"NOT IF I CHIDORI YOU FIRST!"

"KIDDIES! DON'T!"

_ZAP! BAM! ZAP! BAM, BAM! ZAP! BAM!_

Kakashi again had a sweatdrop rolling down his head. _Geez, you'd think that at least_ one _of them could land a hit, seeing that they're such great ninja and all... This is probably just a sign of their sexual tension. Oh, wait, is that _Naruto_?_

"DON'T WORRY, SAKURA-CHAN! I'M HERE TO SA—" _BAM! ZAP!_ "_AHHHHHHH_!" And the boy with bad timing was sent flying.

"OOPS! SORRY, NARUTO!"

"Che, idiot."

"WELL, IT WASN'T _HIS _FAULT THAT _YOU_ CHIDORI-ED HIM!"

"_MY_ FAULT? IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, IT WAS _YOU_ WHO PUNCHED HIM WITH THAT INHUMAN STRENGTH OF YOURS!"

"WELL—"

"_ENOUGH_!" Kakashi yelled, out of his hiding spot and standing in between his feuding students. (A/N: Well, _somebody_ had a death wish.) "WE'RE FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT NEXT TIME! NO MORE IMPROV!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**lIkE iT? rEvIeW pLeAsE!**


	7. Blame the Skirt

-In which, Sakura's teammates don't want her fighting and so they use her mini-skirt as an excuse

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**Yay! New chapter! So, this chapter was inspired by the fact that Sakura's the ONLY ONE wearing a skirt with her Shinobi Allies outfit. In my opinion, I think that's because Kishimoto doesn't intend on letting her fight and kick ass. But that's just my opinion. And that spurred this oneshot. Enjoy!**

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❤❀~Blame the Skirt~❀❤

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"WHY CAN'T I _FIGHT_?"

Naruto cringed at his teammate's whining. Oh, if he ended up on the receiving stick of her punches, Kakashi would _pay_. After all, the old pervert had been the one to drag him into this.

Kakashi, on the other hand, just pretended as though that high-pitched whine did not effect him (even though it almost caused one of his ears to go deaf). "Well, you see, Naruto and I—"

That use of words got the Copy-Cat Nin a glare from the blonde. _Excuse you? 'Naruto and I'? You threatened to take away my ramen!_

_"—_thought it'd be best if you didn't fight in this war."

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

A good five minutes must have passed before Sakura and Naruto both screamed, "_WHAT_?"

"_That's_ the reason you called me away from the _thousands _of shinobi I had to heal?" Sakura asked while Naruto halfway screamed, "_That's _the reason you threatened to take away my ramen? You know, forget this! I'd rather have _no_ ramen than let Sakura use me as a punching bag! On second thought, I take that back."

"Now, now, kids—"

"WE'RE NOT _KIDS_ ANYMORE!"

"Fine, horny _teenagers_ then_—_"

"WE AREN'T _HORNY_ EITHER!"

"Whatever. Just listen to me."

"_Hmp_." Sakura crossed her arms. "I'm _listening_. It's just I'm not _hearing_ anything _good_."

"Ooh, sassy, Sakura-chan!"

A glare.

"Right, too OOC... Sorry."

"_Okay_..." A sweatdrop had made its way down Kakashi's face. "Back to the story . . . now, Sakura, the reason why I think you shouldn't fight is because—"

"Yes," Sakura sneered, "let's hear your oh-so _wonderful_ reason."

"Yes," Naruto repeated, taking the same pose, "_let's_."

"Would you two stop _interrupting_ me?"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

When a good ten minutes had passed, Kakashi deemed it okay for him to start talking again. "So, as I was saying, Sakura, I don't want you fighting because—"

"Ooh! Ooh! Is it because of that meeting with Sasuke? Are you afraid that something like that is going to happen again?" Naruto asked, jumping up and down like an excited kindergartener.

"_What_? Kakashi, I _swear_ it better not be because of _that_! I'll have you know that I can take care of myself just _fine_!"

"Oh, can you _really_? Cuz that didn't seem to be the case when your _precious Sasuke-kun_ tried to STRANGLE YOU!"

"You got something to say, Naruto?"

"Yeah, I—"

"_SSSHHHUUUTTT UUUPPP_!"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"Now, before _any_ of you interupt me _again_, Sakura, I don't want you fighting because of _that._"

Sakura and Naruto's eyes followed Kakashi's finger to what he pointed at, and their reactions...

"_WHAT_? KAKASHI, I LIKED _NARUTO'S_ REASON BETTER!"

"Well, actually, Sakura-chan, I think Kakashi-sensei's got a good point. That skirt _is_ kind of short."

"YOU BE QUIET, NARUTO!"

"But I mean, _really_, you're like the only one during this war that's wearing a freakin' _skirt_, for God's sake! What cha gonna do? Flash at your enemies and let them nosebleed to death?"

"NA-NARUTO, YOU PERVERT!"

"No, actually, Sakura, that's what I was trying to get at."

"_KAKASHI_!"

"Hey, if you think otherwise, we can always get Sai and Yamato-taichou to give their opinions. In fact, let's get Sasuke's and Madara's too. I wanna see their reactions to our wisdom!"

"NARUTO!"

"Hm, you know, now that I think about it, that's a _wonderful_ idea!"

"KAKASHI, DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!"

"You think so, huh, Kakashi-sensei? Well, let's go then!"

"Ugh, I'm surrounded by idiots..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

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**lIkE iT? rEvIeW pLeAsE!**


	8. I Hate Birthdays

-In which, Tenten explains to Neji that the reason why he was forced to wear the greensuit is because he forgot his sensei's birthday

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**Okay, so this chapter was inspired by _Azumanga Daioh_. During one of the chapters, Yukari gets pissed off that her friend Nyamo gets a birthday present from her class while she is stuck with nothing since her birthday is in the summer. And so, yeah... Enjoy!**

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❤❀~I Hate Birthdays~❀❤

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"I swear, you _better_ not laugh, Tenten."

"You're kidding, right? How can I _not_ laugh at this? How can _anyone_?" And indeed, if you saw _the_ Hyuga Neji wear the same green jumpsuit as Rock Lee, you would not be able to control yourself. You just _had_ to laugh. It was a miracle that Tenten managed to just snicker.

Neji inwardly thanked the heavens neither Lee nor Naruto had seen him yet.

"And pray tell, what brought on _this_ change of wardrobe?"

And he now inwardly thanked the gods that it wasn't _Sasuke_ asking him that question. The Uchiha would _never_ let him live it down. "There was no _change_, Tenten. Gai-sensei just forced it on me today."

"_Forced_ it on you?" Tenten raised an eyebrow. She could _not_ believe what she was hearing. "That sounds highly _unyouthful_ of him."

"Well, when you put it that way, he came up to me all happy like as always but then, after a little while, his mood just drastically dropped. And I mean _literally_. His whole smile turned upside down. And I have no idea _why_." He growled and hissed out that last sentence.

"Um . . . Neji-kun, I think I might know why."

". . . I'm listening. And this _better_ not have been one of your stupid dares."

"Well, actually, no. And actually . . . you _did_ remember that today was his birthday, _right_?"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"Um . . . Neji-kun?"

"WHAT THE F**K? WHO REMEMBERS _THAT_ KIND OF STUFF? DO YOU SEE THE UCHIHA AND _HIS_ TEAM BUYING GIFTS FOR _THEIR_ SENSEI?"

"Um . . . actually, yeah. This year, they bought him the whole Icha Icha series, signed by the author. And last year, they bought him a few alarm clocks."

". . . Alarm clocks?"

"Yeah, I mean, the dude's _never_ on time for _anything_. And besides, it's the thought that counts. And they had the present wrapped _very_ beautifully. Plus, those clocks were _really_ expensive. Kakashi was on the verge of tears when he found out his team did something like that for him."

". . . _Tears_?"

"Yes, tears. Happy, _manly_ tears."

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"Um . . . Neji-kun?"

". . . Does that mean I have to buy Gai-sensei a present, too?"

"Um, let me think. Tick, tick, tick, _YES_! WHAT DO _YOU_ THINK, GENIUS?"

"Hm, do you think an alarm clock would work?"

"Yeah, if you want the matching eyebrows and haircut to go with that outfits of yours. _Geez_, Neji, for once, be original."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

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**lIkE iT? rEvIeW pLeAsE!**


	9. Nice Going, Romeo

-In which, Sakura is dating Madara and "THIS IS ALL _YOUR_ FAULT, TEME!" but "Actually, Dickless, we think it's partially your fault too."

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**Okay, so this chapter is just something I thought would be a nice laugh. You see, I was bored one day, and so I started reading random fanfics about random _Naruto_ couples. And one of the couples I decided to check out was MadaSaku. And the reason why that author decided to put the two together is because Sakura seems to be have been paired with Itachi and Sasuke already, and so s/he thought why not Madara too. I personally don't exactly see the reason as to why there would be a couple like that, and so this oneshot was born. ****Please, enjoy!**

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❤❀~Nice Going, Romeo~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"THIS IS ALL _YOUR_ FAULT, TEME!"

"Actually, Dickless, we think it's partially your fault too."

"WHAT? _MY_ FAULT? WHO _THE HELL_ THINKS THAT?"

"Um . . . we do," Ino said, refering to herself and the rest of Konoha 11 plus Sai. "Oh, and the sensei too."

"What? _Why_?"

"Well . . . um . . . Naruto-kun, just think about it. You . . . you and Sasuke-san are k-kind of . . . um . . . _opened_ about your . . . um, relationship. And—"

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE _JOKING_! I THOUGHT WE WERE _OVER_ THIS STAGE! I ALREADY _TOLD_ YOU GUYS! THE TEME AND I AREN'T GAY!"

"Hn," Sasuke agreed.

"Well, it doesn't seem like it." Neji said. Then he added in a low hissing voice, "And if you yell at Hinata one more time, I _swear_ you will _never_ enjoy the taste of ramen _ever_ again."

Naruto swallowed hard, nodding his head. _Never_ cross Hyuga Neji. _Never_.

"Would someone mind explaining it to me why it's the dobe and my fault that Sakura's _dating_ Madara?"

"Yeah, what the Teme said! And how in the world did _that_ happen? I never thought of Madara as someone who'd chase after a _girl_, let alone someone a few decades younger than him. That was to be, like, incest or something. Don't we got laws about this?"

"Who said it was _Madara_ who chased after _Sakura_?" Shikamaru asked.

"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT_? IT WAS _SAKURA-CHAN_ WHO SEDUCED _MADARA_?"

". . . . . . ."

"What's the matter with you two?" Tenten asked. "You can't expect to tell us that you _didn't_ think something like that would happen."

"Yeah, but I thought it would be the _Teme_ she'd seduce! Not his _ancestor_! And stop glaring at me, Teme! Half of the whole entire _world_—maybe even more than that—wanted some SasuSaku action!"

"Yes, but that isn't going happen now, is it?" Sasuke asked, still so emotionless.

"Come on, don't be such a prick, Teme! You don't have to hide it from us! We know that, deep down, you secretly want to _ravish_ Sakura-chan!"

If Sasuke had been eating something, he would've choked. If he had been drinking something, he would have spit it all out at the blonde. But too bad. No such luck.

"I have _no idea_ what you're talking about." _How the F*** did he get so _smart_?_

"Oh, come now, Sasuke!" Choji said, trying but not succeeding in opening his bag of chips. "We'll all be okay with it if you stopped your ice-cube image. I mean, _all_ of us—well, _almost_ all of us—are part of the SasuSaku club."

"What do you mean by '_almost_'?"

"Well," Tenten said, pointing at her energetic teammate, "Lee here still doesn't believe it'll happen as he wants Sakura all to himself."

"I do not _believe_, Tenten." the little green-jumpsuit-wearing guy said. "I _know_ it will happen. I shall beat my youthful rival! And when it does, I will ride into the sunset with my beautiful cherry blossom!"

"Okay, first of all, do _not_ call me youthful." the Uchiha growled. "Secondly, you won't _ever_ beat me. Thirdly, riding into the sunset is just crappy. Fourthly—"

"Teme, this is a _long_ list."

"Shut it, Dobe. Fourthly, that will not happen. And fifthly, Sakura will _never_ be _yours_."

"AHA! YOU ADMIT IT!"

"Admit what?"

"THAT YOU LIKE SAKURA-CHAN!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Um . . . Naruto-kun, Sasuke-san j-j-just said Sakura won't b-b-be Lee's. H-How is that a confession of Sasuke l-liking Sakura-chan?"

"Aw crap! You just _had_ to ruin my parade, didn't you, Hinata-chan?"

"Did you just yell at my cousin again?"

"N-No, Neji!"

"Ugh, let's get back to the matter at hand." Ino said. "Sasuke, it doesn't matter if you like Sakura or not. What matters is that _you_ be the one to crash the wedding."

"Why _me_?" _Oh, how I'd love to do that._

"Because this wedding will affect you the most," Shino answered.

". . . How?" _Yes, give me reasons so I don't look like a love-sick fool._

"Well, think about it, Uchiha. You find Sakura annoying, right?"

A nod. _In that she's always in my thoughts._

"And you probably can't deal with her nagging at you all day, right?"

A nod. _Nah, not really... I just like to hear her talk._

"And you probably can't deal with her screaming at you about being lazy and noting doing anything but watching the clouds and—"

"Um . . . Shikamaru, you're talking about yourself and your relationship with your mom." Choji interrupted.

"Oh, right. Moving on! If she marries Madara who's _your ancestor_ which automatically makes him the boss of you because he'd be head of the clan or something like that then Sakura technically gets the right to boss _you_ around. And if you think Sakura's annoying _now_, just wait until she becomes the matriarch of the Uchiha clan. Annoying won't even describe it. And—"

"Hey, where did the Teme go?"

"Um . . . Naruto-kun, he stomped off somewhere."

"Did you see where, Hinata-chan?"

"Um . . . n-no, but I did hear him m-mutter, '_Okay, got enough reasons. Time to kill that creepy old lunatic and get back what's mine_.' And then he was gone."

"HA! I _KNEW_ THE TEME LIKED HER!" Then he decided to scream out into the distance, "TEME, MAKE SURE YOU GOT SOME CLASS WHEN YOU CRASH THE WEDDING! YOU GOT TO, GOT TO HAVE SOME _TENDERNESS_! THE CHICKS _LOVE_ THAT KIND OF CRAP!"

"Heh, looks like Forehead was right. If you add pressure to jealousy, Sasuke really _does_ get moving."

"_What_? So are you saying that Sakura-chan _isn't_ marrying Madara?"

"Who said _that_? Forehead's not going take anything short of Sasuke begging on his knees, so you _better_ hope that he thinks of _something epic_ to stop that wedding or he's going to be _insufferable_! Just imagine training with Sasuke if Sakura actually _does_ marry Madara. He'd probably take all his anger out on you. Now _that_ would be bad!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"TEME, WAIT UP! I'M A-GOING TO HELP YOU!"

"Five bucks they'll actually beg her."

"Four bucks Dickless does something stupid and messes things up."

"Ten bucks that . . . that Naruto-kun makes Sasuke-san do something . . . un-Uchiha-like."

"But didn't that _already_ happen, Hinata?" Neji asked.

"Y-Yep! So pay up!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· . °✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Okay, this turned out horrible...**


	10. Colors

-In which, it is simple to see which couple is better: SasuSaku or NaruSaku or NaruSasu

* * *

**Yay! Another chapter! Thank you for those who liked the last chapter. I really thought it wasn't good because I had a different view of how that chapter was going to turn out, but it didn't work out the way I thought it would. And so thank you for liking it.**

**And I hope you guys enjoy this chapter too!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Colors~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Ino, this is troublesome. Why did you call me here?"

"To hear out my new theory!"

"_About_...?"

"About why SasuSaku is better than all those other weird and makes-no-sense couples!"

"Ino, this better not be like the time you told me it's because Sakura turns Sasuke on and you gave me all those bogus hints."

"No! No! _Nothing_ like that! But you have to admit, that idea was _so much_ better than your idea of Sakura being the only girl who could get Sasuke wrapped around her fingers."

"Hey, that _was_ a good theory!"

"Well, not as good as this one!"

"Which _is_...?"

"Pink and Blue make a _beautiful_ shade of lavendar violet!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"So . . . what do you think?"

"Um . . . as troublesome as it'll be, I think you better explain this one, Ino."

"Well, it's simple actually. You see, SasuSaku is the _only_ couple that makes sense because their signature colors actually can make _another_ color—and an even prettier one, to boot! If you had NaruSaku which is like orange—_ugh_, horrible color—and pink then you'd get some messed up tropical smoothie flavor thing which is _so_ not a correct color. Then there's NaruSasu which is orange and blue which doesn't make a damn color _at all_! It _might_ make a really ugly and dirty shade of brown, but it won't cut the diamond. SasuSaku is the _only_ correct couple. Plus, their lavendar violet-purple color would be so _cute_ on their child! Just imagine little pink-haired Sharingan users wearing lavendar-dyed clothing! It'd be SO _CUTE_!"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"So . . . what cha think?"

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"_Uh_ . . . Shikamaru?"

". . . What about NaruHina then?"

"Oh, that's easy. That couple is also perfect and a match made in heaven because the Hyuga's pure white is the _only _color that actually mixes with Naruto's orange to make this nice creamy shade of orange which is a _so much better_ color of orange."

"But then . . . wouldn't that make the couple NaruNeji 'perfect and a match made in heaven,' too?"

"No, you see, because Neji is not a main branch Hyuga family member."

"What are you? _Racist_?"

"It's not racist if I'm talking about which _family_ someone belongs to. I thought you _knew_ that, Shikamaru. And here I thought _you_ were the smart one. So anyway, what did you think about my theory?"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"You know, I think this is your best theory ever."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	11. Change

-In which, Suigetsu had gotten Karin mad at him and so everything ended in the wrong place

* * *

**Yay! Another chapter! But no one reviewed my last chapter! Was it bad?**

**But anyway, for this chapter, I got the idea from an episode of the K-drama _High Kick_. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Change~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Um . . . Suigetsu, why is there bread in the air conditioner?" Juugo asked. "And why are the sofas in the kitchen? And the dining table in the living room? And our beds surprisingly all in the bathroom? The toothpaste in the jam jar? The eggs in the milk container?" And the list went on and on.

"I . . . honestly . . . don't . . . know..."

It was then that Karin walked into the room. "Hey, boys, liked what I did?"

"You crazy slut! You did this _overnight_? _Why_?"

"Well, cuz you told me to change."

"I TOLD YOU TO CHANGE _YOURSELF_! NOT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE!"

"Hmp, well, if you don't like it then _DEAL WITH IT_!" And then she skipped out of the room, probably thinking of another way to try and rape Sasuke.

"Crazy b***h..." And Suigetsu took a sip out of his water bottle which he then spit out because it wasn't water he drank but... "_COOKING OIL_? THAT EVIL LITTLE CREATURE! WHY, I'D OUGHTA—"

"Oh, give it up, Suigetsu." Juugo said. "At least, it's better than the time she taped every single door and opening up. We couldn't even walk out of our bedrooms, get into the fridge, or even use the toilet!"

"But we still can't use the toilet... The beds are all blocking the way..."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"THAT EVIL LITTLE CREATURE!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	12. Just Rewards

-In which, Team Kakashi and Team Hebi catch Tsunade and Sakura doing something they're not supposed to do

* * *

**Yay! Another chapter! And like the last chapter,**** I got the idea from an episode of the K-drama _High Kick_. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Just Rewards~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"AHH! _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!"

"That sounded like Tsunade!" It was then that Naruto and his team decided to break down the door. But what they saw was...

"HAHA!" Sakura laughed, slamming down her hand of cards. "Royal flush! Pay up! And remember, no sharing winnings!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

"Tsunade-sama! How could you gamble with an underage student?"

_Oh, shit_... Sakura thought. Collecting her winnings into a HUGE bag, she ran out of the room.

"Just wait a minute, Sakura! You're in trouble too! How could you agree to gamble with her?" Kakashi asked, but it was too late. A trail of smoke was left in the girl's tracks.

"Now, Granny, you—" But when Naruto turned back to the Hokage, her face was scrunched up in terror. "Hey, Granny? What's the matter with you?"

"It doesn't matter! Tsunade, you shouldn't have gambled with Sakura! You should be ashamed of yourself, conning money from a innocent teenager. You—"

"OH, GIVE IT A REST, WILL YOU?" Tsunade screamed, finally out of her trance. "IT WAS _ME_ WHO WAS CONNED! I DIDN'T EVEN WIN A SINGLE HAND! SHE WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A _PENNY_! OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE SUGGESTED POKER! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN! _UGH_! I CAN'T BELIEVE I _LOST_! I—"

And as Tsunade's rant continued, Naruto realized something. "Um . . . Kakashi-sensei, shouldn't we tell Sakura that Sasuke's back and—"

_BAM!_ "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR LEAVING ME ON A FREAKIN' BENCH!"

"Never mind."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	13. Interrogations

-In which, Akatsuki finally surrendered to Konoha, and all of its members were put in jail until further notice. Each of them were assigned their own case worker. It worked out pretty well . . . but Tsunade had been drunk when assigning case workers. And here were the placements.

* * *

**Yay! Another chapter! But it's nothing new. It's actually a little omake I had put at the end of chapter 24 of my fanfic _Passion_. So . . . yeah . . . but still I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Interrogations~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

**Itachi – Sasuke (which ended up in a glaring contest)**

**glares**

**glares**

Then they had a conversation that only Uchihas could understand.

"Hn?"

"Ah… _Hn_?"

"Eh… Hn?"

"Hn…"

**sighs**

**Sasori – Sakura (which ended up with a broken wall)**

"Haha, I killed ya!"

"Shut up, girlie!"

"_Killed_ ya, _killed_ ya! Never wanna be ya!"

"I said _'SHUT UP'_!"

"Ooh, is someone a _sore loser_?"

"_SHUT UP_!" He attacked and _BOOM!_ The wall broke.

"Ha! Ya _missed_! Missed me, missed me, now you gotta _kiss_ me!"

"Lady, your Uchiha boyfriend's gonna get angry with me."

**Deidara – Ino (which ended up in a fashion tips thingy)**

"_Cool_! How ya'd get your hair like that, Deidei-chan? It's _so_ adorable!"

"Why, thank you, un! In fact, it's very easy to get this kind of hair color, yea. Just use a lot of conditioner, un!"

"_Really_?"

"Yes, un!"

**Pain – Gai and Lee (which ended up in a "youthful" debate)**

"A hundred laps around this room _now_!"

"Hai, Gai-sensei!"

"Uh . . . no."

"What was _that_? You unyouthful jailbird!"

"I said, _'no'_."

"That's _it_! Two-thousand push-ups NOW!"

"How do you expect me to do that if I'm _stuck_ to a _machine_?"

"Stop using excuses! It's not youthful!"

"Youthful this, youthful that. It's _so_ not me! I'm a god, damn it!"

**Konan – Hinata (which ended up with a heart-to-heart, girl-to-girl chat)**

"So . . . why . . . why did you join Akatsuki?"

"I don't know… For love, I guess."

"_Love_?"

"Yes, Pain always did have a way with me." Konan sighed. "So, what about you?"

"_Huh_? Wh-what about me?"

"You're a pretty girl. Surely, there _must_ be someone that's caught your eye."

"Well, there _is_ one person."

"Oh, really? _Who_?"

"Na-Naruto…"

"Ooh, _really_? Ooh, girl, _do_ tell!"

**Zetsu – Kiba (which ended up with a _really_ annoyed Zetsu)**

"Oy, _dude_! Why are you black _and_ white?"

"It's _none_ of your business!"

"_Dude_! Are you part _plant_?"

"Gee, what do you _think_?"

"_Dude_, do you eat bugs?"

"Why would you think _that_?" _How did he _know_?_

"Because, _dude_, you look like you're a Venus dumb trap!"

"I'm a _WHAT_?"

**Tobi – Naruto (which ended up in a shortage of ramen)**

"Hey, Tobi, do you like ramen?"

"What's _'ramen'_? Tobi doesn't know."

"_'What's ramen'_? OMG, what did the Akatsuki do to you? _Starve_ you! Don't worry! The future Hokage's on the job!"

**Hidan – Shikamaru (which ended up plagiarizing people's quotes)**

"I spared your life on a whim, nothing more. But this time, my whim is telling me, to finish what I started."

"_Dude_, that's _Sasuke's_ line!"

"Fine! Then . . . _anoo_… I'm not gonna run away, I never go back on my word! That's my Nindō: my ninja way!"

"That's _Naruto's_ line!"

"Fine, fine… Then . . . anoo . . . I am Sailor Moon, champion of justice! On behalf of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you!"

"That's not even a line from this anime, and technically you ain't no champion and you're not justice at all!"

"Well, who cares? Just let me say _something_!"

**Kakuzu – Tsunade (which ended up with Tsunade taking advantage of Kakuzu)**

"What the heck is with all these _bills_? Do you not _check_ your bank accounts?"

"Well . . . there has been this and that, and with the war going . . . I couldn't _possibly_ do anything that involved money."

"But _still_! Look at all these _zeros_! You can't possibly pay all these off!"

Tsunade took one of the bills and, after she read it, she started to cry . . . fake tears, that is. "Oh, you're right! Boo-hoo! Woe is me! I will _never_ pay this off! The village will go bankrupt! Boo-hoo! I don't know what to do! Boo-hoo! Oh, boo-hoo! Someone, help!"

"Don't worry, little lady! I'll help! Just let me call my banker, and I'll wire all of my money into your accounts! Maybe that will help!"

_Yes! Gotcha, sucker!_

**Kisame – Choji (which ended up in a chase)**

**stares**

**blinks, blinks**

**stares then drools**

"_Anoo_ . . . little chubby person, why are you _staring_ at me?"

**drools even more**

"_Anoo_ . . . Mr. Chubby-man?"

"SUSHI!"

"_Huh_?"

"_SUSHI_!" And Choji took out a huge knife.

"Shit…"

And the chase starts.

_Why does this _always_ happen to _me_?_

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	14. Who Do We Save?

-In which, Kakashi gets mad at Naruto and gives a little quiz

* * *

**Yay! Another chapter! Like chapter 11 and 12, this chapter is based on an episode from the Korean comedy _High Kick_. The little scene which inspired this chapter was from episode 121 while chapter 11's was episode 118 and chapter 12's was episode 119. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Who Do We Save?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Okay, time for a pop quiz! For every answer correct, you'll get a dollar."

Team 7 and Yamato and Sai, with nothing better to do, just agreed.

"Okay, first question: if the village was being attacked, who or what would you save? The savings account? Your favorite shurinken? Naruto—"

Sai raised his hand first. "Naruto."

"Nope, wrong."

Now, everyone just looked at Kakashi funny. Wasn't he the one who said leaving your teammates behind was the _worst_ possible thing to do?

"Listen again. Here are the choices: the savings account, your favorite shurinken, Naruto, or _me_?"

Sakura's hand shot up. "You, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Correct! One dollar for our beautiful kunoichi!" And after giving Sakura her due, Kakashi continued with the quiz. "Question two: if we're on a boat and it was sinking, who or what would you save? An important scroll? The savings account? An expensive piece of jewelry? Or _Naruto_? Sasuke, how about you answer?"

". . . The Dobe?"

"Ooh, so sorry but wrong!"

Then Sakura's hand shot up. "The savings account!"

"Right again! Another dollar for our very intelligent kunoichi! Now, question three: if our boat was in danger of tipping over, who or what would you throw overboard? The—"

But Sakura's hand was up before he even gave the choices. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Righty-o!" And another dollar went Sakura's way.

"Okay, I had _enough_!" Naruto finally spoke up. "Just what did I do to get you so angry, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Remember the time when you borrowed my book and never _returned_ it?"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"_THAT'S_ WHY? YOU HAVE _GOT TO_ BE KIDDING!"

"Why would I kid about my _favorite_ book? Plus, it was autographed, Naruto. _Autographed_!"

"WELL, AT LEAST, I DIDN'T _LOSE_ IT!"

That's when Yamato spoke up. "Actually, you _did_ lose it, remember? You told me about it just yesterday."

"QUIET, YOU!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh . . . it's not that good of a chapter today. Sorry.**

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	15. ItsyBitsy Spider

-In which, when Team Kakashi finally captures Sasuke and his team, the only thing that stands in their way is . . . a spider

* * *

**Alright! Another chapter! This chapter was inspired by how poor my school district is. We practically have an infestation of bugs, and it's just not species. There's ticks, centipede-thinys, and even lice! Ew... And so, here's the chapter!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Itsy-Bitsy Spider~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

The journey had been long and quiet, _very_ quiet. Nice and peaceful. No troubles, whatsoever. That is, until Uzumaki Naruto just _had_ to make a small observation.

"Hey, look, a spider."

"_WHERE_?"

Suddenly, the two kunoichi who seemed to be the worst of enemies wrapped their arms around each other, making sure no eight-legged creepie-crawlie was near them.

"Here." And in his hands, Naruto held the spider right up to the girls' faces which wasn't a really good idea.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!"

Yep, not a good idea at all.

"What? It's just a tiny little guy."

"THAT'S NOT _TINY_! IT'S _HUGE_!"

"But it's _small_!"

"NARUTO, IT'S NOT SMALL IF IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR _HAND_!"

"But—"

"NARUTO, I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T PUT THAT THING DOWN, I'LL—"

Suddenly, the spider moved one of its legs.

"!_"_

Karin was unable to move in her fear, but Sakura . . . she grabbed the nearest thing and chucked it at Naruto. Guess what it was? If you guessed Sasuke then you're correct!

"_AHAHAHAHAHAHA_!" Suigetsu was on the floor now. "I don't know why you don't want to go back to Konoha, Sasuke. These people seem like a whole bunch of fun! _AHAHA_!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh . . . it's another bad chapter. Sorry.**

**pLeAsE rEvIeW! tHaNk YoU!**


	16. Last Words

-In which, Team 7 have their final conversation before going off to deal with Madara or Kabuto (whoever's the bigger villain)

* * *

**YAY ME! Another chapter and two in one day! This chapter was inspired by _Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows_. There were a few parts in the story that I really liked and decided to make this oneshot. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Last Words~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Okay, before you guys go and steal the spotlight again, let me just say this: _If—_and I use this term very loosely because this _better NOT_ happen—if you guys die, I'll kill you two!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes while Naruto who had improved his ninja skills and _not_ his brain power said, "But, Sakura-chan, how can you kill us if we _already_ dead?"

Now Sasuke scoffed. "She just wants us to come back alive, Dobe."

"Whatever, Teme! Just don't start kissing her! It's supposed to be a cool team scene, not a romantic scene with just the two of you!"

"Speaking of romance, did you talk to Hinata yet?"

"Why would I need to talk to Hinata-chan, Sakura?"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"You're _kidding_, right? You have _got to be_ joking!"

Naruto shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"Dobe, don't you remember what the Hyuga girl said before Pein almost killed her?"

"Um . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"When she _confessed_ to you?"

". . . . . . ."

"When she said that she _loved_ you?"

And then the villain came in. "Now, prepare to—"

"OH MY MISO RAMEN! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT! YOU GUYS DEAL WITH THE EVIL DUDE FOR NOW! I GOTTA GO!" And then a trail of smoke was left in Naruto's spot. "HINATA-CHAN! HINATA-CHAN! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

"Um . . . . wasn't he supposed to fight me with you guys?"

But the remaining Team 7 members just ignored the bad guy. "I can't believe the Dobe abandoned us."

"Well, I guess it's just you and me then, Sasuke-kun."

"Shouldn't we wait for him, though?"

"Nah, Kishimoto probably has some kind of dramatic scene planned out with us two fighting side-by-side and then we end up on the brink of death, confessing our feelings to each other. And at the last moment, Naruto probably comes in and saves our sorry asses. He'll then end up as Hokage, and we'll be there watching and smiling because we know there will be a bright future ahead of us."

The Uchiha shrugged. "Eh, I'll take it."

"So . . ." the villain said, "I guess we start fighting?"

"Yep."

"Okay. DIE!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Ew . . . it's not as good as I thought it'd be. And, yeah, I know Sasuke and Sakura probably won't end up fighting along side-by-side. That'll probably be a NaruSasu scene, but I couldn't resist. I'm a big SasuSaku fan, you know?**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	17. Blame the Skirt 2

-In which, the issue with Sakura's mini-skirt is controversial and is giving Sakura a nasty headache

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**Yep, another new chapter! And this one goes out to SweetAngels123 because they wanted it. I hope you enjoy it!**

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°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Blame the Skirt 2~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"You have _got to be_ joking! Tell me you're joking!"

"We don't joke, Uchiha, when it comes to a matter like this." Kakashi said, his hands folded in front of him.

"_A matter_?" Sakura asked in disbelief. "It's just a _skirt_!"

"Yeah, a skirt that's too _short_!" Naruto added.

"Didn't we go through this already?"

But everyone ignored her.

"A _skirt_?" Madara asked. "_That's_ why you called us here?"

"And so, I repeat," Sasuke said, "Tell me you're joking."

"And I repeat, we don't joke when it comes to a matter like _this_."

"But Kakashi-sensei, it's just a _skirt_!" Sakura tired once more. "There wasn't a need to call a meeting with the enemy just to discuss _this_!"

"And I agree with Ugly. I do not actually see any reason _why_ it's such a big deal."

"Thank you, Sai!"

"Unless, of course, she's going to nosebleed her enemies to death."

"That's what _I_ said!" Naruto added. "See, Sakura? Even _Sai_ agrees with me!"

The only kunoichi there could only bury her head in her hands. _Someone save me!_

"Well, I think that Sakura's choice of clothing should be honored."

Now everyone looked around—Sakura unburied her face, grateful for that supportive person. But where did that voice come from?

"Over here."

Then they turned to the man who was stuck to the wall.

"_Thank you_, Yamato-taichou!" But she began to regret not holding her tongue because...

"It takes a lot of guts for a kunoichi to prance around in a slut's skirt, not even worrying with their underwear shows."

"F**K YOU! I'M NOT A SLUT!"

(Sakura's scream was so loud that everyone around the world went, "What was that disturbance?")

"Then don't wear the skirt!" Naruto screamed back.

"And wear _what_? Just my underwear?"

"No, and how about pants? At least, if you're wearing a pair of shorts, no one would be tempted to look _up_ them! They'll just look at your ass!"

"_EXCUSE ME_?"

"Yeah, you heard me!"

"I SWEAR, NARUTO, IF _THEY_"—she pointed at the two Uchihas and Kabuto—"DON'T KILL YOU, _I_ WILL!"

"Oh, I'd like to see you try!"

"Bring it on!"

"Oh, it's been—"

"WOULD YOU TWO JUST _SHUT_ THE HELL _UP_?"

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

Kabuto cleared his throat. "Good, now that I have your attention, I'd like to ask: how are _we_ involved in this?"

"Oh, that's easy." Naruto said, almost as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We had a fight (A/N: back in chapter 7) about the skirt, and Sakura here wouldn't believe us, and so I was like _'I bet the evil dudes would be on my side about this._' And she was, like, '_No, they wouldn't._' And here we are."

The "evil dudes"—as Naruto had put it—could only slowly nod their heads as they took in his explanation. _Really_? A fight over a mini-skirt? Oh, boy, Naruto just went past the stupid scale.

"So . . . if you would be so kind as to tell us your opinions on this matter, we'd greatly appreciate it." Kakashi said, smiling. But it was a smile that said, "If you don't agree with us, I'll use the Secret Finger Jutsu on you fools."

Kabuto sighed, pushing up his glasses. "Well, if it'll mean we can continue with the story... I'll have to say that I agree with Sakura-san."

Suddenly, Kakashi's smile disappeared and was replaced with a scowl that said, "Oh, you just dug your own grave. I'm a-gonna Finger Jutsu you to Hell!"

"I mean, it's just a _skirt_, and it's her decision and her decision _only_ if she decides to wear it during a war."

"Oh, I could hug you, Kabuto, if you weren't fused with Orochimaru." Sakura said. "And if you weren't so creepy. And if you weren't so scaly. And if you weren't so—"

"OKAY, I GET IT!"

Now it was Madara's turn to give his view on things. "I'd have to agree with the Kyuubi boy."

And now it was Sakura's turn to scowl, one that threatened, "Encourage him, why don't you? I'll knock you into the worst anime _ever_!" while Kakashi smiled, one that screamed, "I'd love you if you weren't so evil!"

"I wouldn't like it either if my female teammate had worn such an atrocity."

"IT'S JUST A _SKIRT_! A _SKIRT_!"

"Well, so it's one-to-one, Sakura-chan. Now, if the Teme agrees with me—and I _know_ he will—then you have to find something else to wear."

Sakura was now fuming. Absolutely fuming. Why, you could see the smoke coming out of her _head_, not just her ears! She knew it, she had lost. There was no way in hell that Uchiha Sasuke would agree with her. There was just no—

"_Che_, Dobe, whatever she wears isn't my concern."

And now, Sakura squealed. "Ha! Don't know him as well as you _think_ you did, huh, Naruto?"

Naruto was left flabbergasted. "But . . . but . . . but . . . _TEME_! Don't you care if people look at her wrong? What if someone tries to _rape_ her? What if she gets molested? What if she gets sexually harrassed? What if—"

"Hn, whatever you say won't make me change my mind, Dobe."

"WHAT IF SHE GETS _PREGNANT_? SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOU REBUILD YOUR CLAN! AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DO THAT WITH _KARIN_!"

And all of the sudden, the world seemed to tip.

"Well . . ." the younger Uchiha said. "If you put it that way..."

Sakura could've slapped herself. _Why me?_

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Oh . . . wow... I think I've lost my touch. No one reviewed on my last few chapters, and I think this one's just stupid! I'm sorry, you guys! I failed you all! [Insert anime tears] But if you enjoyed it . . . .**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	18. Ha! As If!

-In which, Sasuke can't laugh and so Naruto manages to actually tell a "joke" that has our favorite Uchiha rolling on the floor

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**Yay, new chapter! And this one was inspired by a small icon I found over the internet. Enjoy!**

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°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Ha! As If!~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Sasuke-kun, it's only for _one_ episode. After this, you probably don't have any more laughing scenes."

"Hn." The Uchiha crossed his arms, still fuming about the script.

"Oy, Teme, can you even _laugh_?"

"Naruto, that's such a stupid question. _Everyone_ can laugh, and I bet Sasuke can, too. Right, Sasuke-kun?"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Oh my god! You really _can't_! AHAHAHA!"

The Uchiha glared at his two castmates who were now laughing their guts out.

"It's _easy_!"

"Says you!"

"Teme, did you just admit you couldn't do something?"

". . . Hn..."

"Aw, don't worry, Sasuke-kun. We'll help you."

"Yeah, Teme. We've got the best jokes in the world!"

"Che, yeah right."

"No, really. Listen." Naruto cleared his throat. "Why did Tigger look inside the toliet?"

". . ."

"Because he was looking for Pooh! Get it?"

"YOU LITTLE TROLL! DON'T MAKE FUN OF THE BEST CARTOON IN THE WORLD!"

"But . . . but Sakura-chan, I thought _Naruto_ was the best cartoon in the world!"

"_Naruto_'s the best _anime_. _Winnie the Pooh_ is the best cartoon."

"Touché."

". . . How is this supposed to make me laugh?"

"Okay, Teme, how about this one? What kind of star is dangerous?"

". . ."

"A shooting star! Get it?"

"No."

"Fine. You leave me no choice but to use the ultimate weapon."

"?"

The blonde took a deep breath and, "ME AND SAKURA-CHAN ARE _DATING_!"

Sakura looked horrified for a moment, but then . . . Sasuke's lips curved upwards and . . . "AHAHAHAHAHA! _NARUSAKU_? AS IF! AHAHAHAHA!"

"What do you know, Naruto? You actually got him to laugh!"

"Yep, did you doubt me? Okay, Teme, you can stop laughing now."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Seriously, Teme, it's not _that_ funny."

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I can _so_ get a date with Sakura-chan!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sasuke was on the floor on, _still_ laughing.

"Um . . . Naruto, I think you _broke_ him..."

"Yeah... I think so, too... Hey, Sakura-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"How badly do you think his fangirls would hurt me if they found out?"

"It's better if you don't know, Naruto. It's better if you don't know."

"Okay, in that case then, will—"

"No, Naruto, I will _not_ go out with you."

"Aw, man..."

And Sasuke was _still_ laughing.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah, this one seems a bit . . . _bad_. The jokes aren't mine, by the way. I got them off some crappy website. Also, I think we should give Sasuke his props. I mean, come on! _Two_ laughs in one episode when he hasn't laughed once throughout the whole series? He meant have blown out his luahg box.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	19. What are You Made of

-In which, "THE HELL? I'M A GUY! A GUY! WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD MAKE YOU ALL EVER THINK I'M A GIRL?"

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**Yay, another chapter! And this one was inspired by every single fanfic that has a female Sasuke in it. Enjoy, y'all!**

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°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~What are You Made of~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Okay, before you say anything, Sasuke-kun, let me just make this clear: they dragged me here and _forced_ me to go along with this! I _swear_, I had _nothing_ to do with this!"

An eyebrow rose. "What is _this _exactly?"

"Well, Sasuke, there has been a rumor going around, and..." Kakashi trailed off, his eyes shifting to an unwilling Sakura.

"We wanted to ask you something," Naruto finished.

"Ask me something?" His eyes followed the others' to the rosette.

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun, I _really_ tried to talk them out of this," she apologized, taking out a piece of paper. "But..." On that piece of paper was the question:

_"Are you a girl?"_

It was silence for a while. Silence for a _long_ while. _Awkward_ silence for a _very_ long while. And then . . . the explosion.

"THE HELL? I'M A GUY! A _GUY_! WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD MAKE YOU ALL EVER THINK I'M A _GIRL_? WHAT HAVE I DONE THAT _EVER_ MADE ME SEEM _GIRLY_?"

"Well, traitor," Sai spoke up. He was the only one with the guts to since Sasuke looked as though he'd go on another revenge quest. "You _do_ act like a PMSing girl. In fact, you act like a bitch."

"Is that _all_?"

"No," Kakashi said. "But if we were to tell you every little detail then we'd be here for _months_."

"And so, Teme, all we're going to ask you to do now is to show us your merchandise."

Ooh, if looks could kill, Naruto would have been dead a hundred times over. And Sakura looked as if she'd explode any minute too. Her face was flushing red.

"I DIDN'T AGREE TO _THIS_!" she cried. "SASUKE-KUN, IF YOU DECIDE TO KILL THEM, KNOW THAT I WAS _TOTALLY_ AGAINST THIS! IN FACT, I ALWAYS THOUGHT _NARUTO_ WAS THE GIRL! IF YOU WANT PROOF, JUST LOOK AT HOW HIS EYES WERE TWINKLING WHEN HE TOLD YOU TO TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS! I SWEAR, IT WAS ALL _HIS_ IDEA! _HIS_! PLEASE SPARE ME!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Oh, Lord... I'm really losing it. My funny bone's gone! This is my worst chapter so far! I'm so sorry, you guys! I've failed you! WAH!**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	20. Naruto's Worst Nightmare

-In which, Neji had always been a traitor

* * *

**Yay, another chapter! And this one was inspired by another episode from the Korean comedy _High Kick_. The episode was in the 120s-125, but I can't really remember which episode. And so, yeah... Enjoy!**

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°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Naruto's Worst Nightmare~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"WHAT? _HOW_? HOW DID _THIS_ HAPPEN? HOW DID _YOU_ END UP BEING THE _HOKAGE_?"

"Hn, sorry, Naruto, but it looks like I've won." (A/N: Sounds like Sasuke, right?)

"But . . . but . . ."

"Was it your dream to become Hokage? Well, forget about it. Being Hokage isn't your destiny. It's _mine_. Now, go along and go annoy Sasuke."

"But . . . but . . ."

Suddenly then, the door opened and in came the most beautiful woman Naruto had ever known.

"Oh, Uzumaki-san? Wh-what are you doing h-here?"

"_Me_? Hinata-chan, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm here to give my husband his lunch."

"_WHAT_? NEJI'S YOUR _HUSBAND_?"

"Yes, fool. We married while you went to fight Madara."

"_WHAT_? BUT . . . BUT . . . HINATA-CHAN, YOU SAID YOU _LOVED_ ME!"

"Oh . . . d-did I? I'm s-sorry. I think you're mis . . . mistaken, Uzumaki-san. I've . . . I've always loved Neji-kun."

"BUT . . . YOU'RE COUSINS! THIS IS PRACTICALLY _INCEST_!"

"Naruto, love knows no boundary. When I'm done with my paperwork, I'll go and buy you some drinks, 'kay?"

"BUT . . ."

"Oh, Neji-kun, d-d-did i ever tell you how . . . how handsome you look in your Hokage uniform?"

"Yes, you did, my little sunflower. A hundred and twenty-eight times."

"Sweetheart, wh-what will you do about Ichiraku Ramen shop? It . . . it's been horribly destroyed. Wh-what will you do with that extra space now?"

"Why, we'll have our first home there. Our child will love it there."

"Aw... You're s-so sweet..."

And then they kissed.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO_!"

✿｡.:**:.｡✿

"Um . . . Sasuke-kun, did you _have_ to put him under the Tsukuyomi?"

"Hn. The Dobe was getting on my nerves."

"Oh . . . um . . . then exactly what are you showing him? He looks in an _awful_ amount of pain."

The Uchiha just shrugged. "Well, that's what he gets for trying to kiss you."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Okay... I hope this chapter was better than my last few ones.**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	21. Fighting the Brat

-In which, as Minato readies himself to fight Kushina, he realizes he's made a terrible mistake

* * *

**Yay, another chapter! And this one was inspired by episode 126 of _High Kick_. For anyone interested in Asian comedy, that show is the one to watch! So yeah, enjoy! (Oh, keep in mind the peoples here are like seven or younger.)**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Fighting the Brat~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

_I can do this. She's just a girl. Just a girl. Yeah, there's no need to feel all nervous. But wait a minute. How come she looks so calm? How come she's so confident? Does she really think she can defeat me? Wait, didn't she said she was the best fighter in her class? Didn't she, like, stab that bad guy's peanut off? And didn't she say she was a killer assassin tried to kill men?_

And as Minato's thoughts came together, Kushina just flashed him a dark smile.

_No, don't let her get to you. Don't let her get to you. She's just a girl. Just a girl. Just a hot girl with a stupid hairdo and a sadistic smile and—_

"Hey, look, Fugaku-kun! Isn't that Minato-kun?"

"Hn." which translated to "yes."

"Oh, this is just _sad_. It's his first fight, and it's with a _girl_."

"It'd be even sadder if the dobe lost."

"SHUT UP, TEME!" _Okay, back to focusing... Don't lose your focus, Minato. You're on your way of becoming Hokage. You can take this girl on._

"Do you think he'd lose, Fugaku-kun?"

"Hn." That sounded like a shrug. "Well, rumor has it that Kushina likes to torture her vict—I mean, opponents."

"Oh, I hope Minato-kun gets out okay then."

"Yeah, he'll probably be fine afterwards." A short pause. "Maybe without a leg or arm, but he'll be _fine_."

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT IT, TEME! YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS ANY BETTER!"

Minato could picture a smirk on the Uchiha's face, knowing that he had succeeded in scaring him.

_Ignore him... Ignore the arrogant Uchiha. It'll be fine. It'll be fine._

Just then, Kushina kicked the air in front of her and Minato—a strong gust of wind came his way.

_Yikes! Even when she doesn't hit me, I can still feel the sting! Oh, god, did I make a mistake when I agreed to this?_

"This is it, Minato!" the red-headed girl said. "I'll make sure you cry!"

_Oh, god!_ He looked to his friends. _Oh, help me PLEASE! Fugaku, I know we're rivals! You don't want someone else beating me up, right? And Mikoto-chan, you said you didn't want me fighting your best friend, isn't that so?_

But too bad for him, his friends weren't psychic.

"Good luck," Mikoto mouthed.

"Okay, Minato! Here I come! YOU'RE MINE! **[insert battle cry]**!"

"You know _what_? _SCREW THIS_!" And so he ran, not even looking back. But when he finally stopped a few couple of miles outside of the village, he realized that running away and getting beat up by a girl had the same price of humiliation.

Meanwhile, back with Kushina, she just stared at the spot Minato had stood. "Um . . . what just happened?"

"Um . . . perhaps he was being a gentleman?" Mikoto suggested, though she herself was unsure of what happened.

Fugaku just smirked. "Whatever. You still lost the bet, Mikoto. I told you he'd run."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Okay... THIS OFFICIALLY STUNK!**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	22. Nothing New

-In which, Team 7 teach Hinata how to deal with Kakashi's tardiness

* * *

**Yay, another chapter! And this one was again inspired by an episode of _High Kick._ I hope you enjoy it! Oh, and I gave the characters cell phones, just for fun. I've always wondered why they don't have phones in _Naruto_ when they have TVs and cameras.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Nothing New~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

_"Kakashi-sensei, where are you? Are you alright? Did something come up?"_

5 minutes later...

_"Kakashi-sensei, I'm getting worried. Please text me when you get my messages."_

Another 5 minutes later...

_"Kakashi-sensei, should I look for you? Are you in trouble?"_

"Hey, Hinata, what are you doing?"

"Oh, it's n-n-nothing, Sakura-chan."

"Are you texting someone? [GASP] Should I tell Naruto you're cheating on him?"

"What? No, I—"

"Hinata-chan, you're _cheating_ on me?"

"N-no, Naruto-kun. I—"

Suddenly, her phone was out of her hands. "Hn. Dobe, she's texting Kakashi."

"Oh? Why are you doing that, Hinata-chan?"

"I . . . I was just worried."

"Oh, then let me show you how _we_ deal with him." Sakura took the phone from Sasuke and started texting.

"Wh-what are you writing?"

No answer.

"Sa-Sakura-chan! Give . . . give it back!" And the phone was back in the Hyuga's hands. But on the screen were the words:

"_Oy, Kakashi-sensei! If you're not here in five minutes, I'll make sure you regret it! Your precious books will be in flames!"_

"Wh-what are you writing? I can't be-believe you tr-treat your sensei like th-this!"

"Hn. Well, it's _his_ fault for being late all the time."

"Yeah, it's nothing new to us, Hinata-chan."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Okay... This was a bit better, I guess...**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	23. Ms Piggy

-In which, Ino pigs out and Shikamaru's none the wiser—and this is happening in front of Team 7

* * *

**Yay, another chapter! This time, it's not based on something from _High Kick_. Dreaded Rasengan was the one who suggested this idea, so thank him/her! I hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Ms. Piggy~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"So, Ino . . ."

But the kunoichi didn't seem to hear him.

"Um, Ino . . ."

Again, the girl made no attempt to look as though she heard him.

"_Ino_ . . ."

And again, she didn't hear him.

"YOU TROUBLESOME WOMAN! _LISTEN_ TO ME WHEN I'M _TALKING_ TO YOU!"

"Oh, did you _say_ something, Shika-kun?"

"Well, Pig, if you listened more closely, you _could have_ heard him."

"SHUT UP, FOREHEAD! Now, what were you saying, Shikamaru?"

"_Che_, troublesome woman. Aren't you afraid you'll get fat if you keep pigging out like that?"

And that was when the explosion happened.

"_WHAT_? HOW DARE YOU, NARA SHIKAMARU? ONLY _SAKURA_ CAN CALL ME A PIG! _ONLY_ SAKURA! I SHOULD STRANGLE THAT PRETTY LITTLE NECK OF YOURS FOR EVEN _SAYING_ THAT! YOU'RE DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? _DEAD_!"

By now, Team 7 had gotten a good ten feet away from the arguing couple—well, yelling girl—and were watching from the safety of behind Naruto (who had asked, "Why me?"). Yeah, bad choice of words, Shikamaru. _Bad_ choice of words...

"Well, it's not my fault that you're eating so mu—is that _ketchup _you're putting in your chocolate milkshake?"

"Oh, wouldn't you know it? I've been having a lot of weird cravings lately. Have any idea _why_?"

"Why should I? It's not _my_ fault if you're eating a whole bunch of crap."

And so because of that, Team 7 decided to move back _another_ five feet.

"_WHAT_? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT? I'M NOT EATING _CRAP_! I'M NOT! I'M JUST SO _HUNGRY_! IT FEELS AS THOUGH I'M EATING FOR _TWO_ PEOPLE!"

"_Che_, well, that's what you get for going on that troublesome diet of yours."

Sakura felt like smacking the so-called genius. You think after _three_ hints he'd get it, but _no_! He just had to pick _now_ to be the idiot!

"YOU F***ING RETARD! DO I _HAVE_ TO SPELL IT OUT? I'M _PREGNANT_! P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T, _PREGNANT_! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A GENIUS! I HOPE OUR BABY DOESN'T COME OUT AS STUPID AS _YOU_! IN FACT, I'D RATHER HIM BE AS SMART AS _NARUTO_, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING!"

Shikamaru just stared at her now.

"_Well_?"

And stared.

"Shikamaru?"

And stared.

"Shika-kun?"

"_Oh_... So you're pregnant... _That's_ why..."

"Um, yeah."

"_Oh_... So you _really_ want the baby to be as smart as Naruto?"

Team 7 couldn't watch as Shikamaru was slapped. Over. And over. And over again. With Ino screaming "Idiot" in his face. Geez, he picked a _perfect_ time to be stupid, that's for sure.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, not my best of works...**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	24. Hypocrite

-In which, "I'm sorry, Kakashi, but you can't read that book of yours anymore. It's too mature."

* * *

**Yay, I got another chapter up! How many days has it been? Five days already... Wow, this just shows you that I've really ran out of ideas... Sorry... I hope you enjoy this one.**

**(A/N: Kakashi's still a kid in this one. Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto are not born yet.)**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Hypocrite~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Kakashi, I don't want you reading that book anymore."

"But . . . but _why_? There's nothing wrong with it!"

"Kakashi, it talks about the birds and the bees. And it was made by _my _sensei! That _proves_ it's not suitable for a mind like yourself."

"But, Minato-sensei, it's a work of _art_! Art, I tell you!"

"I'm sorry, Kakashi, but you just can't read that book of yours anymore. It's too mature and—"

"Mature, my ass! It's _funny_!"

Minato opened his mouth to argue but then . . . "Yeah, it _is_ funny."

"So . . . ?"

"You still can't read it."

"But . . ."

"Kakashi, I don't need you when you're all grown up reading that book on the battlefield and being late because of it. I don't want your future students yelling at you and trying to steal that book out of your hands just to spite you. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Minato-sensei."

"That's a good boy. Now, come along. We need to train you."

But unbeknownst to the Hokage, Kakashi had his fingers crossed behind his back.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, it's _really_ not my best of works... I think this might have been the worst one yet!**

**And so, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	25. Over a Pool of Lava

-In which, everything is either Naruto or Sasuke's fault, and so it's not surprising that Sakura's blaming them for . . . well, you'll see.

* * *

**Yay, a new chapter! This one . . . well, I already had some of this planned out, but I didn't think it was that good of an idea. However, here it is! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Over a Pool of Lava~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"You two ruin _everything_..."

**"Hn."**

_"Aw, come on, Sakura-chan! That's kind of mean, don't you think? I mean, it's not the Teme and my faults that we're hanging over a pool of boiling hot lava!"_

"Naruto, if it's not your fault, it's _Sasuke's_ fault. If it's not his fault then it's _yours_."

_"But—"_

"You two ruin _everything_..."

_"Yes, Sakura-chan."_

**"Hn, I don't see what the big deal is."**

"Well, _excuse me_, Uchiha! But not everyone can be as _stoic_ and _emotional retarded_ as _you_! Hanging over a pool of boiling hot lava doesn't exactly sit well with me! And it doesn't spell out a wonderful and relaxing weekend either!"

**"_Che_, annoying..."**

"Yeah, yeah, keep saying that. It's not like I haven't _heard_ it before!"

_"Um . . . Teme, Sakura-chan?"_

"You know, Sasuke,_ I_ actually wanted to go _shopping_ today! For the first time in months! But _NO_! You and Naruto just _had_ to decide that today was the day you'd _kill each other_!"

**"Hn, you didn't actually have to come."**

"Well, _excuse me_ for worrying! Next time you might need a medic to save you from the brink of death, don't come whining to me!"

_"Um . . . guys?"_

**"As if I would."**

"Fine! You better remember that the next time you're dying!"

_"Guys?"_

**"Why the Hell are you so _annoying_?"**

"I swear, call me annoying _one more time_ and I'll—"

_"THAT'S IT! YOU TWO BETTER MAKE UP! I CAN'T _STAND_ ANYMORE OF YOUR SEXUAL TENSION!"_

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**This one _seems_ better than my last few works. Tell me what you think of it.**

**And again, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	26. Reason of Fear

-In which, we are told the real reason why Sasuke doesn't want to return to Konoha

* * *

**Hooray, a new chapter! This one was based off of something from _Dragon Ball Z Kai_, so enjoy! Oh, and peoples who have given me ideas, I thank you for wanting to help me!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Reason of Fear~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"HE'S NOT RETURNING BECAUSE THE MAN'S AFRAID OF HIS OWN _TEAMMATE_! I MEAN, HAS ANYONE _ELSE_ RECEIVED SAKURA-CHAN'S PUNCHES? MAN, DO THEY _HURT_!"

"_Naruto..._"

"_Eh-heh-heh_, I meant nothing by that, Sakura-chan. You have to believe me."

_WHACK!_

"_See_? It's always _me_ who gets hit!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**dOnE!**

**And again, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	27. Of Ideas and Pretendings

-In which, love forces Sakura to change her name and her appearance too and she's NOT getting married

* * *

**Hooray, a new chapter! This one was based off of something from _Dragon Ball Z Kai_, so enjoy! Oh, and peoples who have given me ideas, I thank you for wanting to help me!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Of Ideas and Pretendings~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"So let me get this straight: you changed your haircolor, put in some new contacts, and changed your name to Haruhi Sakuno all because Lee won't leave you alone?"

The now green-haired, golden-eyed girl nodded. (A/N: LOL, I just realized I made her look like C.C. from _Code Geass_. Hm, it's probably because they share the same English voice actress.)

"Hn, that's probably the _stupidest_ thing you ever did."

"Well, _excuse me_, Uchiha, but, if I recall correctly, _you_ couldn't come up with any better idea to fix this situation either!"

"Don't get mad, Sakura—I mean, _Sakuno_-chan. But Lee couldn't have been all _that_ bad."

"OH, YES, HE _WAS_! Do you have any idea what people are calling me now? They're calling me '_Mrs. Lee_'! _Mrs. Lee_! Do you have _any_ idea how . . . how creepy that sounds? I mean, we're not even _dating_, for pete's sake! He's calling me his girlfriend and _everything_!"

"Well, if it's _that_ big of a problem then why not you and the Teme _pretend_ to be dating?"

". . . . ." _Actually, that's not that bad of an idea. We're already secretly dating. If we go under the pretense of trying to get rid of Lee, we can get our relationship out in the open. But still . . . there are the fangirls to worry about..._

Seeing that Sakura, or rather _Sakuno_, was indecisive at the moment, Sasuke spoke for her. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Fine then!" Naruto said. "We'll go to Plan B!"

Question marks floated over his teammates' heads. "Which _is_...?"

"Pretending you two were already secretly hitched before all this had even happened!"

"_NO_!" Red face for her and pinkish tint on him.

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Fine then, Plan C."

"And that _is_...?"

"Do either Plan A or B, but replace the Teme with _me_! Get ready to be called _'Mrs. Uzumaki_,' Sakura-chan or Sakuno-chan! So! Which plan are we going with?"

Sakura thought about it for a moment. Plan C didn't _sound_ so bad. It was easy to pretend with Naruto since she had already done so a few times on some missions. And so, she opened her mouth, but before she could answer...

"Dobe, we'll go with Plan B."

Mouths gapped open then.

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"_What_?"

"Sasuke-kun, this better not be your idea of a proposal!"

"No, it's not."

"Oh, good."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Hey, Sakura—I mean, Sakuno-chan?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Can you switch your name back to Haruno Sakura? And change your appearance back?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, I was getting tired of pretending anyway."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**dOnE!**

**And again, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	28. Wake Up Call

-In which, Shikamaru gets woken up in the strangest way

* * *

**Yay, a new chapter! This one was based off of something my friend said. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Wake Up Call~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"_Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzz... Zzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzz... __Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzz... Zzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzz..._"

"_DIE_!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh, sorry, Shikamaru. I was playing Angry Birds."

"Oh, okay... _Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzz..._"

"DIE_, _DIE_, DIE_!"

"_CHOJI_!"

"Sorry..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**dOnE! lIkEd It?**

**And again, I ask you: GIVE ME THINGS TO WRITE ON. Any little thing you want to see in this collection of oneshots! Any quote, any event, any verbal arguments! Give me them and I'll make them a funny little _Naruto_ oneshot!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	29. No Fair

-In which, Konoha always has the good stuff

* * *

**Yay, a new chapter! My sisters came up with this idea, so please enjoy it! Oh, please read my new oneshot, _A Strange Occurence_!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~No Fair~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

The gods just had to be mocking him. They just _had_ to be. There was no freakin' way that this was fair. No _freakin'_ way. Why did Konoha choose _now_ to have free tomatoes? _Why_?

"Hn, why does Konoha always have the good stuff?"

"That's not true, Sasuke-kun."

"And why is that, Karin?"

"Cuz _I'm_ here!"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"Konoha had hotter girls too."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	30. Really?

-In which, Tsunade is horribly pissed because someone invaded Konoha and NOT for the Kyuubi

* * *

**Yay, a new chapter! And yippee! I have over a hundred reviews on this fanfic! Thank you all those who love my drabbles!**

**Oh, my sisters also came up with this idea, so please enjoy it! This one is kind of, like, a small continuation of the last chapter. So enjoy! Oh, and please read my new oneshot, _A Strange Occurence_, if you haven't already.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Really?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

This can_not_ be happening. This absolutely can_NOT_ be happening. There is _no way_ in Hell—not even if Hell freezes over—that this was happening. There was just no way. No way, just _no way_. She _had_ to be dreaming, she just _had_ to be because...

"WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD INVADE KONOHA JUST FOR FREE _TOMATOES_?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	31. MikoSaku? Ooh, You're Screwed, Sasuchan

-In which, Kabuto revives Sasuke's mom and it's so not going the way he expected

* * *

**Okay! Another new chapter! Now this fanfic is my longest one as of yet! Yippie! It's beaten my first fanfic _Passion_ in number of chapters now! Yay! And it's also my fastest growing popular fanfic! Thank you, readers! I love you all! And enjoy this chapter!**

**(Oh, and A/N: Sasuke's back on Konoha's side in this one!)**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~MikoSaku? Ooh, You're Screwed, Sasu-chan~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Okay, so . . . how will this story start? Oh, here we go! _So_! When you're on the battlefield, the natural thing to do would be to fight the person you're up against, right? But when the enemy has given life back to your dead mother whom you clearly love dearly and whom you canNOT injure/harm/hurt or else your dead family would haunt you forever, the natural thing goes out the window, and you're stuck trying to think of a plan. And this is the exact situation our favorite Uchiha—no, not Itachi but the other one; no, not Madara; GODDAMMIT, IT'S SASUKE—has found himself in. And so, the question remained: what was he to do?

"Hey, Teme, what are you going to do? I mean, you can't just beat the crap out of your pretty mother! Your brother and father would _kill_ you in the afterlife!"

"Gee, thanks for telling me the most _obvious_ thing in the world, Dobe! And . . . you aren't hitting on my _mom_, are you?"

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"_Dobe_..."

"Well, sorry, Teme! But your mom's _HOT_!"

"Hey, no fighting amongst allies!"

"Yes, Sakura-chan..."

"Hn."

It was then that Mikoto glomped the rosette. "Oh, Sasu-chan! I didn't know you had such a _CUTE _girlfriend! She's certainly cuter than that Karin girl you recruited! You know, I almost had a heart-attack when I saw that you picked that _slut_ to be on your team and—"

Sasuke paled. Wasn't his mother supposed to be under _enemy_ control? Why was she criticizing him?

Naruto choked on air. _Girlfriend_? Since when did his teammates hook up? Oh, and he made a mental note to collect his winnings. (Hey, there were _some_ people who didn't believe in our favorite couple.)

Sakura, on the other hand, snickered. (But of course, that was hard to do since Mikoto was halfway choking her to death.) _Sasu-chan_? Oh, Sasuke wasn't going to live _that_ one down. No way.

"Now, on to the topic of grandchildren—"

_Okay, _Team 7 agreed. _She's gotta stop talking..._

"Mother..."

"Yes, _Sasu-chan_?"

The Uchiha's eyebrow twitched. Oh, how he _hated_ that dreadful nickname... "I am _not_ dating Sakura."

"Oh, so Sakura's your name, sweetie? That's such a cute—WHAT DID YOU SAY? SASU-CHAN, TELL ME YOU'RE _JOKING_!"

Sasuke almost flinched. _Almost_. In fact, his mother was starting to remind him of someone. Someone he couldn't place his finger on. "No, mother, I am not."

"But . . . but . . ."

Oh, no, here comes the waterworks...

"SASU-_CHAN_! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN! MY ADORABLE SHARINGAN-EYED AND PINK-HAIRED GRANDCHILDREN! YOU CAN'T JUST CALL OFF THIS WHOLE ENGAGEMENT! THE WHOLE _CLAN'S_ EXPECTING THIS MATCH! YOU JUST _CAN'T_ CALL IT OFF!"

"I'm sorry, Mother, but—hold on a second, did you say '_whole clan_'?"

"Well, _che-yeah_, Itachi's told us _all_ about it!"

"Um . . . what's '_it,_' Uchiha-san?" Sakura asked, hoping that '_it_' wasn't something bad. Did I mention that Mikoto still hadn't released Sakura yet from her hug of doom—I mean, love?

"Your romance together, _duh_!"

_So it's the Weasel's fault, huh?_ our happy couple thought, making plans to desecrate said Weasel's grave.

"But, anyway, Sasu-chan, you must have taken after your father! I mean, your taste in girls is HOR-RI-BLE! If _I_ wasn't already married, straight, or dead then I'd take your friend here in holy matrimony! I bet she'd be wonderful in bed! And—"

"Um . . . Teme, your mother's starting to scare me..."

"Same here, Dobe. Same here..."

"Um . . . guys...?" Sakura was almost on the verge of tears. "Save me _please_..."

"Oh, and you're that Naruto kid, right?" Mikoto asked, suddenly coming out of her rant.

Said blonde didn't want to answer.

"You're so _dense_! Do you know that? I mean, you have that Hyuga girl crushing on you, and you don't even _notice_ her! And how long has it been since she confessed to you? Did you even _think_ about how you'd reply yet? Did you even think about the location of _where_ you're going to propose, _huh_? I swear, your parents have been rolling around in their graves since the dawn of time, and you are just so—"

Meanwhile, Kabuto could only shake his head as he watched Team 7 cower in fear as Mikoto lectured them on their horrible romance conduct. It looked as though Sakura would run out of air pretty soon.

"Um . . . Kabuto?"

"Yes, Madara?"

"Is Mikoto _supposed_ to be talking to them about that? Cuz I don't want to be dealing with a few of those sharingan-eyed and pink-haired grandchildren she was talking about."

"Well, Hell, I don't even want to deal with _her_!"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"Touché."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	32. Another Bad Boy

-In which, Konoha 11 has kicked Neji out of their group

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! And thank you, readers! This is my most reviewed fanfic! Thank you! **

**Okay, so this chapter was inspired by the chapters when I thought Neji really had gone haywired. I thought it was about time since all the cool and aloof hotties were evil. I was relieved that Neji wasn't really evil, but I still cooked up this little idea. Pure evil for poor Neji... It's not really all that funny, but I hope you still enjoy it.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Another Bad Boy~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"I blame you, Uchiha peoples."

Madara and Sasuke just rose an eyebrow.

"This is all _your_ faults."

Still, they did not speak.

"Do you have _any idea_ what you have done to me? Why couldn't you have told Zetsu to impersonate _Lee_ or somebody else I don't like? Why did it have to be _me_? Why _me_?"

Again, no answer.

"And why did you choose to try and kill _Sakura_, huh? Do you know how much _influence_ the girl has amongst the others? Do you know what she did? She kicked me _out_ of Konoha 11! She completely _kicked me out_! And I'm not speaking figurely! She had _everyone_ kick me out! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? Even my teammates were afraid to back me up! Well, actually, no, Lee was glad to do it since Sakura offered him a kiss on the cheek,"—if he had been paying attention to Sasuke, he would have noticed that the Uchiha's glare drastically darkened when he mentioned that last fact—"but _anyway_! They said I might go haywire, that I've already gone crazy just like you two! And that I should join you guys and they know I'm a double agent! You two have _ruined_ me! _RUINED ME_! What am I supposed to do _now_?"

"Well . . ." Madara said, finally speaking up for the first time. "You could always join us..."

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

"You're . . . _joking_, right?"

"No, I'm serious. If you join us, you don't have to be worried about being kicked out since it's forever work for us or die along the way. Plus, you can also get revenge on those Konoha 11 so-called _friends _of yours. But you'll have to hold on Sakura. Sasuke has first dibs. So what do you say?"

Neji thought about it for a moment but then shrugged. "Heh, why not? Hand me an Akatsuki cloak."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Not my best work but I think it'll do . . . for now...**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	33. Enough with the Hesitation

-In which, this is what I would have done if I was a character in Naruto and I was there when Sakura tried to kill Sasuke

* * *

**Hip-hip-hooray! A new chapter! I don't know how good this will turn out but, if you guys recieve this well, I might make more of these Insert-me-into-this-scene chapters. And so, I hope you enjoy this experiment of mine.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Enough with the Hesitation~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Come on, Sakura!" I yelled, pushing the girl forward. "It's just _one_ measly _inch_ away! Hurry up and just stab the guy already!"

"But..."

Uh-oh, too late. The Uchiha had already turned around and began choking her. Sigh. I'm beginning to think that she should start taking tips from him on how to move fast. It's either that or have her close her eyes whenever she's trying to kill the guy she loves. Yeah... Not so sure how that'll work out.

It's then that I realized that, oops, I was not Spiderman and could not hang upside-down from ceilings. And so . . . I fell. Ouch. Hopefully, I can get away without the stupid Uchiha realizing I was ever there.

Hm... Actually, where did Sakura drop her kunai? I could always slit Karin's throat.

. . . .

. . . .

Oh, dammit it all! Sasuke's got her kunai. _Really_? Does he _have_ to ruin my plans _all_ the time?

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**It's really not my best work. It'll do, I guess . . . for now...**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	34. Drop a Line

-In which, this is the only happy moment the Mizukage has during the war

* * *

**Yay! Another new chapter! Hooray! I got this idea after I watched an episode of _xxxholic_ yesterday and thought that Mei would be perfect for this one little chapter.**

**Also, because of the low ratings on my last chapter, there will be no more Insert-me-into-this-scene chapters.**

**Thank you and enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Drop a Line~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Now, Squad A, FIRE AT _WILL_! Ooh, I _always_ wanted to say that line!"

"Um . . . Mizukage-san?"

"Oh, right." She cleared her throat. "Squad B, FIRE WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES! Ooh, I _always_ wanted to say that line too!"

Ao could only facepalm. Why did he even bother?

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**I think my chapters are coming out of their stupid era. They're getting better.**

**Ooh, and if you have time, read my _Dragon Ball Z_ drabble fanfic too!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	35. Fleas

-In which, when Akamaru has fleas, the first person Kiba turns to is...

* * *

**Yay! Another new chapter! But no one reviewed on my last two chapters! Do you all hate me now?**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Fleas~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"SHINO, YOU BASTARD! AKAMARU HAS _FLEAS_!"

The bug-boy could only sigh. How come whever Akamaru had fleas _he_ was blamed? It wasn't like the dog didn't deserve it, stepping on all of those poor ants in the first place...

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Bad chapter... And I think I didn't something like this already...**

**Ooh, and if you have time, read my _Dragon Ball Z_ drabble fanfic too!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	36. Where are the Cookies?

-In which, Gaara takes a line from Code Geass

* * *

**Yippie! A new chapter! This was inspired by a comment on the YouTube video of _Code Geass_ episode 20. If you haven't watched the episode then you might not get what's so funny. Please enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Where are the Cookies?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Gaara!" Kankuro yelled, holding out a jar. "Did _you_ eat Temari's last chocolate-chip cookie?"

"WHAT OF IT?"

"Sheesh, all I did was ask... No need to go all One-tails on me..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**I think this one may be the cutest one I've done all year long. I love Chibi-Gaara and his love of cookies!**

**Ooh, and if you have time, read my _Dragon Ball Z_ drabble fanfic too!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	37. Dragon Balls

-In which, Naruto tries to make a wish on the Dragon Balls and it doesn't work out so well

* * *

**Yippie! A new chapter! My sisters came up with this one, and I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Dragon Balls~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Okay, for my first wish, I wish for Uchiha Sasuke to return to Konoha!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Request denied," the dragon from the Dragon Balls said.

"_WHAT_?"

"The one named Uchiha Sasuke does not wish to return at the moment."

"_WHAT_? WHAT KIND OF—Wait, did you say _'at the moment'_?"

"Yes."

"Oh... So does that mean he's _planning_ on coming home then?"

". . . _Perhaps_."

"Okay then! So do I get a do-over with my first wish since you didn't grant it?"

"Yes."

"Okay! Then I wish for a date with Sakura-chan!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Request denied."

"_WHAT_? THIS MUST BE SOME SORT OF SCAM! YOU AIN'T NO ALL-POWERFUL DRAGON! I BET A _GENIE'S_ BETTER THAN YOU!"

"Let me explain. Your request is denied because there is another who loves you whom you have failed to see."

"Oh? _Really_? Who is it?"

"It is not my place to tell you."

"I wish for you to tell me!"

"Shit... Whoever said this guy's an idiot is severly wrong..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah... Nothing to say today...**

**Ooh, and if you have time, read my _Dragon Ball Z_ drabble fanfic too!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	38. Japanese Superstitions

-In which, Sakura tells her boys some Japanese superstition that has both Sasuke and Naruto flustered

* * *

**Yippie! A new chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Japanese Superstitions~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, Naruto, have you guys ever heard of the superstition that says, if you play with fire, you'll wet your bed?"

"Teme, does this mean you wet your bed often?"

_BAM!_

"What did I say?"

"Hn, Dobe."

"Oh! You didn't deny it! Teme wets his bed~! Teme wets his bed~! Teme—"

_BAM!_

"Ow! Teme, that hurts..."

"Hn, serves you right..."

"Actually, Naruto, this superstition applies to _you_ too."

"_What_, Sakura-chan? Why _me_ too?"

"Because Sasuke uses fire jutsu and you fight him a lot _so_..."

"_What_? Sakura-chan, I don't wet my bed! If anyone does that, it's the Teme!"

"Hn, speak for yourself, Dobe!"

"Teme, why I oughta—"

"Also, Naruto, did you know, if you sleep right after you eat, you'll turn into a cow, pig, or elephant?"

"_WHAT_? BUT I HAVEN'T—"

"Hn, about time his true self is shown."

"TEME, SHUT _UP_!"

"Also, if you cut your nails at night, you won't be with your parents when they die."

". . . Crap. No wonder..."

"Haha! You should start listening to these superstitions more, Teme!"

"And also, a cold mid-section will cause diarrhea."

"Crap! I gotta warm my mid-section."

"Hn, now _who_ has to listen to superstitions, Dobe?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah... Again, there's nothing much to say...**

**Ooh, and if you have time, read my _Dragon Ball Z_ drabble fanfic too!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	39. Kamehameha

-In which, Sakura uses Dragon Ball Z as a distraction

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! I thought this would be a good crack, so enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Kamehameha~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Okay, so, this was the final battle. The _last_ battle. Of the war. And it was not going well. Not going well at all. Why, you ask? Well, Madara managed to get the upper hand somehow, and now both Sasuke and Naruto were on the brinks on death. Lovely concept, don't you agree? And so, anyhow, Madara was about ready to land the final blows when...

"KAMEHAMEHA!"

If this had not been a battle, someone would have laughed. However, given that it was a battle and the _most important_ in the war, there was no laughter. There were only raised eyebrows as the three just stared at Sakura as if she had gone crazy.

"Hey, you can't blame me," she reasoned. "Goku managed to blow up the whole universe! Can you blame me for just trying out a theory?"

Madara took this into consideration then. _Hm... I must recruit this Goku person... If not, he may become a problem... But first I gotta take care of these—_

But when he turned his attention back onto the two rivals he was about to kill, they had disappeared.

"They're gone!" he exclaimed as if we readers haven't already read that last line. He went to glare at Sakura but . . . "She's gone, too! Damn that Haruno! Why does she have to be so _annoying_?"

Meanwhile...

"_Yes_! My plan has succeeded!"

"And what plan would that be, Sakura-chan?"

"Plan: Distract the Evil Dude with a Reference from Dragon Ball Z and Get Back my Idiot Teammates! Or as I'd like to call it, Plan: DEDRDBZGBIT!"

"Hn, whatever. Just heal us so we can kill him."

"Everything has to be about you two, doesn't it?"

"Hey, Sakura-chan, did you just call us idiots?"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"_Maybe_..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yep, all is well... Now, I wonder how Gaara's battle with his father will go... It seems like it'll be epic, but I want to move back to Team 7 again...**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	40. Villian or not?

-In which, Hinata would not make a good bad guy and Naruto's none the wiser

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! I got the idea how of something on . It was a picture of Hinata holding lots of chibi Akatsuki, so I thought why not have her be a bad guy? But then I realized . . . yeah, not such a good idea... Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Villian or not?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Pre . . . Prepare y-yourself, Uzumaki N-Naruto-kun! To-to-today's the d-day you d-die!"

"What, Hinata-chan? I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?"

"I'll k-k-k-kill you, Na-Naruto-kun!"

". . . Did you say _'chill'_? And Hinata-chan, why are you wearing the Akatsuki outfit? Not that you don't look good or anything—you look hot and all—but if this is a way of rebelling against your father or something then try something else please. You'll give some perverts nosebleeds, and people don't tend to like the Akatsuki, so they might try and _kill_ you!"

"Na-Naruto-kun, I'm t-t-trying to k-k-k-kill _you_!"

Meanwhile, watching the "battle"...

"You know, I really don't know _who_ to help in this situation."

"Hn."

"I mean, Hinata-chan looks as though she's struggling to even get the words out! And '_Naruto-kun_'? What kind of villian uses _honorifics_ in an admiring way? And Naruto just called her _HOT_! What kind of an _idiot_ calls his opponent _hot_? This is just setting up for catastrophe!"

"Yep... More popcorn, Sasuke? Sakura?"

"Why, thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

"Hn."

Back to the "battle"...

"Wait, Hinata-chan, you're trying to _KILL_ ME? _WHY_?"

"Be-because I'm part of A-Akatsuki now!"

"But you're not weird, creepy, or insane! You're too hot and innocent to be in their organization! Why did you join them in the first place?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yep, all is well... Also, about my other fanfics, I am updating them as fast as possibly. However, I have summer work for school to do, and I have writer's block on my fanfics, and I really don't know how to make characters act as they do in the original manga and anime, so I'm thinking of getting a beta reader. Anyone know any good ones?**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	41. Great, Just Wonderfully Great

-In which, both Temari and Gaara want Kankuro to side with them and failure to do so would mean his head!

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! I got the idea off of the Chinese drama episode 1 of _Show Me the Happy_. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Great, Just Wonderfully Great~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"So who's it going to be, Kankuro?"

"_Me_ or Gaara?"

Kankuro swallowed. If this had been under _normal_ circumstances, he would have yelled at _both_ of them and told them that they were _both_ being stupid for forcing him to side with one of them on today's battle of what-flavor-of-cookies-do-you-want. There was nothing wrong with their battle but, seeing as they were _sixteen_ _years old _and refusing to buy _both_ their favorite flavors, it was just _very _wrong. And if this had been under _normal_ circumstances, Kankuro would have just left them in the supermarket.

However . . . when the _both_ of them were pointing _guns at his head_, he knew this was the time to get a family therapist. And . . .

"_Really_? You guys, we don't even _have_ guns in this anime! Just where did you get _those_?"

"E-ninja."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**This wasn't as good as I expected it to be...**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	42. Sucks

-In which, Sakura is sassing Orochimaru when he gives Sasuke the curse mark

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! Eh . . . I just needed a chapter to begin with the letter S. I also need chapters beginning with the letters P, Q, T, U, X, Y, and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Sucks~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"HOLY _CRAP_! YOU'RE A VAMPIRE!"

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"What the fuck, Sakura?" Sasuke asked, gasping in pain. Now was _so_ not the time to sass _anyone_! Remind him again _why_ this girl was on his team?

"Now, little girl," Orochimaru said, his neck still very long. "There are no such things as vampires and—"

"That's just what you _want_ me to think, but I _know_ you're one of the undead!" Sakura almost yelled, and oh how right she was... About the undead part, I mean. "Also, you know, you're, like, the ugliest vampire I have ever seen! I mean, even Edward of _Twilight _looked better! And he wasn't even all that hot! And, like, what's coming next? _Zombies_? Ha! I bet that's _sure_ to happen!"

If Sasuke had not been in pain, he would have called her "annoying."

"Now, little girl—"

"Stop calling me little. I'll have you know I'm taller than Naruto and, if you call me _'little'_ one more time, I'll use your neck as a jump rope! You hear me?"

". . . You know, you remind me of my old teammate... How troublesome it would be if you went under her tutelage..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Very BAD...**

**Also, I have NO REVIEWS on chapters 33 and 34! How could you guys do that to me? On the stats, as of now 5:27 PM of July 14 of 2011, it's like "3, 4, 2, 5, 4, 1, 0, 0, 1"! It's like goose eggs in the middle of a very productive field! It looks so weird! Oh, and chapter 17 has the most reviews with 10 as our leading number.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	43. You Expect Me to Eat That?

-In which, Naruto's trying to cook and the test rats—err, his teammates are a bit worried

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! This one was based on a scene from _Show Me the Happy._ Enjoy!**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters P, Q, T, U, X, and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~You Expect Me to Eat That?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"OH, _NO_! BAD OVEN-COOKING-STOVE THINGY! DON'T BURN THE CHICKEN! AH! THE GREEN STUFF! NO!"

As Naruto tried to save the meal, his teammates could only sit with anticipated horror. The guy didn't even know the word "vegetable," as shown by his _extensive_ vocabulary just now. How was he supposed to cook if he didn't even know the _names_ of his ingredients?

"Um . . . Sakura," Sai used the pinkette's name because he was indeed starting to become a bit alarmed. "Is it too late to run out the door? We can always tell Naruto that we had a last-minute mission."

"Oh, come on, Sai! We can't just leave him _now_! I mean, look at how _desperate_ he is! This is his first anniversary with Hinata, and he just wants to make it perfect!"

"Actually, Sakura," Kakashi spoke up. "I kind of second Sai's motion, despite Naruto's good intentions."

"Hn. Ditto."

"You too, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn. Look, what the Dobe is doing is nice and all, but if it means getting us stuck in the hospital with food poisoning then he has to find better test rats. Yamato was lucky he had a mission today."

"_Sasuke-kun_! How can you _say_ that?" Sakura scolded. "We are _not_ Naruto's test rats! We—"

"DINNER IS _SERVED~_!"

With the help of his clones, Naruto was able to set the table up in about two minutes flat, complete with utensils, plates, and glasses of water. But his teammates could only stare at the food. It wasn't that it looked utterly tasteless or unedible—he had made it seem as though they were dining at a five-star restaurant—but looks could be decieving, and that just wasn't a risk Naruto's teammates were willing to take.

"_Well_?" the blonde asked, oblivious to his friends' anxiety. "Dig in, everyone! And make sure you tell me what you think!"

And automatically, everyone turned to Kakashi.

"_What_?" the ex-ANBU asked, pointing to himself. "Me first?"

Everyone nodded.

"Fine. I'll be the adult." He took a piece of the chicken and, in a blink of an eye, he had already bit into his mouth a piece of meat without even taking off his mask.

_So much for _that_ plan,_ everyone else thought. Now they waited for his critic.

He swallowed.

"_Well_?" Naruto asked. "What cha think?"

"It's actually very good, Naruto."

The blonde beamed.

"But it could use more salt, less sugar, a bit more sesame oil, some chives, maybe a tad more flavor, and I think you forgot to take off the skin. I tasted something feathery in my mouthful."

The smile had already disappeared during the first comment.

Now it was Sai's turn to try, but he decided to take some rice first. "Oy, Dickless, did you remember to add _water_ to the rice before cooking it?"

"I _so_ put water in it!"

"Then . . ." Sai flicked a piece of rice at the chef, and it bounced right off the guy's head. "You probably didn't add enough. How much did you put?"

"About a teaspoon."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"_What_? I don't like soggy rice, _okay_? Can we get back to my cooking?"

"Fine." Sai took a piece of tofu, but it proved difficult. The artist had to stab his chopsticks into a piece just to get a chunk off. And when he bit on it, he swore he heard his teeth breaking. "Dickless, exactly how did you manage to make tofu as _hard as a rock_?"

"Okay, so tofu's out of the menu. Teme, Sakura-chan, you two try the last dish."

But the two teammates could only stare at the dish. It was the most undecorative piece on the table, and it looked . . . um, scary.

"You try it, Sasuke-kun."

"Why _me_?"

"Because you stayed with Orochimaru which means you can probably stomach anything."

"_Che_, what about you? You're a medical nin. If you get food poisoning, you can just heal yourself right away! Plus, you have Tsunade to take care of you! If I got sick, she'd just leave me there to rot away!"

"But you _always_ insult Naruto, so if you eat it then it won't affect him so much! If _I_ told him, he'd be moping about it for _days_!"

"Um . . . guys?" Naruto asked, but they didn't hear him.

"Well then, you can put it to him _gently_."

"Instead of _telling me_ what to do, _you_ do it!"

"_Guys_?" Naruto tried once more.

"I don't want to be stuck in the hospital the _first week_ I'm back in Konoha!"

"Well, _I _don't want to hurt his feelings!"

"GUYS!" That did the trick. "You guys don't _have_ to try it..."

But Kakashi begged to differ. "No, if Sai and I had to risk our lives then they should too."

"Just rock-paper-scissors it." Sai suggested. "Whoever loses has to eat it."

A sigh from both. "Fine." They played the game, and as luck would have it...

"_Shit_!"

...Sakura lost, resulting in a smirking Sasuke.

"Be grateful, Uchiha... You owe me big time..." And then she took a bite.

"_Well_?" Naruto asked. "How was it?"

Sakura opened her mouth to say something, but then her hand went to cover it as to stop her from throwing up. "I'm sorry, Naruto!" And then she bolted into the bathroom, a trail of dust in her wake.

"Hn, Dobe, why don't you just make ramen?" Sasuke advised. "Hinata would like that."

"Yeah... I'm starting to think this was a waste of time..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Better...**

**Sorry, if a lot of the stories center around the characters from Team 7 or Team Kakashi, but they're my favorite characters! And I miss their team so much!**

**And also, I have NO REVIEWS on chapters 33 and 34! How could you guys do that to me? On the stats, as of now 11:20 AM of July 15 of 2011, it's like "3, 4, 2, 5, 4, 1, 0, 0, 1"! It's like goose eggs in the middle of a very productive field! It looks so weird! Oh, and chapter 17 has the most reviews with 10 as our leading number.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	44. Queen of Weapons

-In which, Tenten's love of weapons has ruined her day off

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! Thank you for those who have stuck with my drabbles! Please enjoy!**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters P, T, U, X, and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Queen of Weapons~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

It was a beautiful day. A gorgeous and magnificient day. Not a cloud in the sky. The sun was shining, and the sky was perfectly blue. The birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming, and there was nice and gentle breeze. However, our favorite weapons mistress could not enjoy this day because...

_BEEP! BEEP!_

"Ma'am, please step aside. Again."

This was, like, _what_? The twenty-fifth time she was called out? And it was not even noon? Like, didn't these customs people know that she was a kunoichi and a kunoichi needed her weapons? Really! What was _wrong_ with these people?

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh... Not so good...**

**Also, I will gladly take any prompts you all have. And if there is a certain character you want me to write about, I sure will do that if I get a good idea. So please, give me a review and an idea.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	45. Take This

-In which, Sakura's method of getting over heartbreak has her teammates swimming in freezing cold water

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! Also, I'd like to take this time to thank E person and Dreaming101 for reviewing so many of my chapters. And I'd like to thank On-Top-of-the-wurld, Wholigan, and Red Ninja for reviewing chapters 33 and 34. All of my chapters now have at least _one_ review, so I'm very happy!**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters P, U, X, and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Take This~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'D DUMP ME LIKE THAT! SHE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME ANY FACE! I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME, BUT SHE WENT WITH THAT STUPID _KIBA_! WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT HIM ANYWAY? _HUH_? I'M GOING TO BECOME _HOKAGE_, AND WHAT DOES DOG-BOY HAVE PLANNED OUT, HUH? NOTHING, I TELL YOU! _NOTHING_!"

Sai, Sasuke, and Sakura could only watch as Naruto flinged his arms around in the air and screamed to the heavens. His girlfriend, Hyuga Hinata, had dumped just today, making a public annoucement that she and Kiba were together now. Needless to say, Naruto did _not_ take it well.

"KIBA'S JUST A MUTT, I TELL YOU! A MUTT! THERE'S NOTHING—" Suddenly, his phone rang. "Hello? . . . . . . . Yeah... Okay... Bye." He hung up then. "See you later, you guys. Tsunade wants me at a meeting early in the morning tomorrow, so—"

"Wait, so . . . Dickless, you're just going to let her _tell_ you what to do?" Sai asked in disbelief, watching Naruto's sudden mood swings. "You were just having a life crisis! What kind of man are you?"

"Sorry, but I—"

"Dobe, you need to get your act together."

"Well, _sorry_ if I can't, Teme! How would _you_ act if Sakura-chan were to dump you like that, huh? Hinata-chan didn't even give me a fair warning! She just flaunted Kiba right in front of me and kissed him and told me they were together now and that I should just give up! I didn't even know she could be that cruel!"

"OH, JUST SUCK IT _UP_!" It was fair to say that Naruto got no warning when Sakura decided to chuck him over the bridge and into the freezing cold water below.

"Hn. Sakura?"

"Yea?"

"Don't you think you were a bit too harsh on him?"

"Hey, he can swim."

"Yes, but he's drunk, so his ability to swim won't help him much."

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"THEN _YOU_ GO SAVE HIM!"

Sasuke also had no warning when Sakura chucked him into the water.

"You got something to say, Sai?"

The artist just shook his head. No offense to the other two, but he wasn't stupid enough to risk getting Sakura angry. Plus, his relationship with Ino was going over pretty nicely, so there was no need for Sakura to chuck him overboard too.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh... Not as good as I thought it'd be...**

**Also, I will gladly take any prompts you all have. And if there is a certain character you want me to write about, I sure will do that if I get a good idea. So please, give me a review and an idea.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	46. Xylophagous

-In which, Yamato has found a small problem with his jutsu and Kakashi seems relunctant to help

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! Please enjoy!**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters P, U, and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Xylophagous~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"AHHHHHHHHH! TERMITES! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM _OFF_!"

Kakashi just read his book.

"DON'T JUST _STAND_ THERE! _HELP ME_!"

It was as though Kakashi was deaf.

"_KAKASHI_! HELP ME!"

Kakashi put away his book then and . . . walked in the other direction.

"KAKASHI, YOU BASTARD! HELP ME!"

"I am. I'm going to get Shino."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh... It's not really funny.**

**Also, I will gladly take any prompts you all have. And if there is a certain character you want me to write about, I sure will do that if I get a good idea. So please, give me a review and an idea.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	47. Please, Just Go to Sleep

-In which, Kushina is getting fed up with Minato's restlessness

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! It was inspired by what my sister did last night, July 21st. Please enjoy!**

**Oh, and a note for the last chapter: xylophagous means "wood-eating."**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters U and Z.**

**This chapter goes out to hira-nera because he/she wanted another Minato and Kushina chapter.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Please, Just Go to Sleep~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Hey, Kushina?"

"_Yes_...?" She swore, if this was another comment on her not allowing him a midnight snack, she'd...

"Can you switch sides with me?"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"_Why_?"

Minato just shrugged. "I feel like sleeping next to the window tonight."

"Oh, fine..."

After switching sides on the bed, it was relatively quiet. Kushina was ready to go to sleep when...

"Hey, Kushina?"

"What is it, Minato?"

"Can we switch pillows?"

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"_Why_?"

"Because, after a while of sleeping on mine, it gets warm."

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"_Minato_..."

"Yeah?"

"It's _supposed_ to do that."

"Oh..."

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"Could you still switch pillows with me, though?"

A roll of her eyes. "Oh, fine..."

After switching pillows, again, there was a nice silence in the room, and Kushina was ready to go to sleep when...

"Hey, Kushina?"

"WHAT _NOW_, MINATO? I SWEAR, IF IT'S ANOTHER STUPID THING, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL _NEVER_ HAVE ANOTHER BABY AFTER THIS ONE!"

"Um . . . I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Oh, well then, goodnight, Minato-kun."

"Goodnight, Kushina."

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

"About that midnight snack..."

"Don't push it. Goodnight _means_ goodnight."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**A note: my aunt has gone back to Singapore until November, so I have to take care of my sisters. Because of that, I have even more to do. On top of that, I have summer work and meetings with my friends over the summer. I'm sorry to say, but I might not have enough time to work on my fanfics until my aunt gets back. Sorry... I will be able to update this fanfic, but the others will be _very_ slow.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	48. Terror of the Marker

-In which, Deidara is afraid of a marker

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! It was inspired by a scene from the Cantonese movie _Love is a many stupid thing_. If you like comedy then this is the show for you!**

**I'm sorry I haven't updated, but I've been so busy. I hope this chapter makes up for my time off! Please enjoy!**

**Oh, and I also need chapters beginning with the letters U and Z.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Terror of the Marker~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Tobi, un?"

"Yea, Deidara-sempai?"

"What are you poking me with, un?"

"Oh, I can't tell you or else you won't be scared."

The blonde rolled his eyes and decided, _Oh, what the heck!_ He turned around and saw that the "weapon" his partner held was indeed only a little marker. He almost laughed. "You're . . . joking, yea?"

Tobi shook his head. "Nope."

"_Tch_, as if I would be afraid of a _marker_, yea."

"Well, of course, you would be."

Deidara rose an eyebrow. "_Oh_? Un, the reason why _is_...?"

"Because I can use this marker to draw on this nice suit of yours."

Deidara jumped back five feet. "OY! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME, UN! THIS IS A _GUCCI_ SUIT, DAMN YOU!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yea... Not so funny...**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	49. Zazzy Dazzy

-In which, Jiraiya teaches Konan the basics of shop-lifting

* * *

**Yay! A new chapter! It was inspired by a scene from _House_. It was a real funny episode. Their dreams had, like, old movies and zombies in it. It was just a fun parody of the whole series except when they found out that Cuddy was dying.**

**Anywho, let's move on to the chapter! Enjoy!**

**Note: In need of chapters beginning with U.**

**2nd Note: Yeah, the chapter title was just fun to say. Zazzy means "flashy" or "stylish." Dazzy just rhymed.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Zazzy Dazzy~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Yahiko could only pace around.

"Oh, quit your worrying," Jiraiya said. "She'll be fine. Be more like Nagato here, reading his book."

"But she's never been out this late, and—"

There was a knock on the door, and Jiraiya moved to open it. And there stood the little kunoichi with . . .

"Oh, good evening, officer! What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," the lawman said. "This little girl was caught shop-lifting."

"She _was_?" Jiraiya asked. He turned to Konan, one hand on his hip and the other wagging a finger. "Young lady, we're going to have a _serious_ talk."

"Make sure it never happens again," the officer said, pushing the girl into the house.

"Oh, don't worry, officer. You have my word that it won't,"—Jiraiya closed the door then and turned to Konan—"because, next time, you won't get caught!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh... It's not really funny...**

**Also, I made some new oneshots. Please read them. If you like the couples of SakuHina, SakuIno, or HinaTen, please read _Let's Go Party_. And review that one cuz I haven't gotten any reviews on that so far. If you like _xxxholic_, please read _Lonely Shadow_ which is a crossover of _Naruto_ and said show. And if you like _Alice in Wonderland_ and angsty stuff, please read my little poem _Well Done_.**

**And next chapter, since it's the 50th chapter of the fic, I'm going to have a special guest. She's cuddly, she's kawaii, she's . . . HELLO KITTY! Please stay tuned to the next chapter to see how she makes a cameo appearance!**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	50. HELLO KITTY MANIA ハローキティマニア

-In which, Sasuke knows Hello Kitty, and he still gets all the girls

* * *

**Yay! My 50th chapter! Thank you for those who have supported my story up until this point! Thank you for all the reviews! And without further ado, here's the chapter and our special guest (if you could call it that): Hello Kitty! Because, what's Japan without its Kawaii-ness? Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~HELLO KITTY MANIA~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"It's disgusting..." Naruto said.

"So troublesome..." Shikamaru added.

"I can't believe this is happening," said Neji.

"So does this mean we can't get laid anymore?" Sai asked.

The three nodded, and they all sighed.

"Hn. I don't really see the problem here," our favorite Uchiha said.

"Teme," Naruto growled. "That . . . that _thing_ took our girlfriends _away from us_! And you're just sitting there like . . . like _nothing even happened_? HOW _COULD_ YOU?"

"_Che_, it wasn't the cat's fault if she's loved by all."

"YES, IT IS!" the four complaining boys yelled. "THAT THING IS A MONSTROSITY AND NEEDS TO BE _DESTROYED_!"

"You're all acting childish," Sasuke stated. "Hello Kitty isn't _that_ bad if you get to know her."

"YES, SHE—wait, did you say '_if you get to know her_'? As in _you_ know _her_?"

". . . Crap."

Snickers.

"Well, Uchiha," Neji smirked. "I didn't know you had a feminine side."

Glares. "No, I don't."

"Then explain, Teme, _how_ you know that . . . that . . .—"

"Hello Kitty."

"_WHATEVER_! JUST START EXPLAINING!"

Sighs. "My family uses ninja cats."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"_And_...?"

"Use your brains. I said, 'ninja cats' as in _cats_."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

"Oh... We still don't get it."

Sasuke so wanted to facepalm right now. "Hello Kitty used to stay with the ninja cats my clan used, and so she ran some errands for us before she became famous. She still keeps in touch."

"_Oh_... That makes _sense_!"

"BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A TRAITOR, TEME!"

"_Che_, I kind of already knew that, dobe."

"I MEANT, TO _US_! HOW COULD YOU KNOW _HELLO KITTY_?"

"_What_?" all the girls ran over there then. "Sasuke-kun, _you_ know Hello Kitty?"

"Er . . . well—" Crap, now the word was out. Hopefully, his fanclub and the Hello Kitty fanclub don't find out. He'd _never_ get a day of peace if _that_ happened!

"HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL _ME?_" Sakura asked, almost hurt.

"Dammit, Forehead. Let's trade boyfriends."

"No way, Pig! You chose Sai, and now still to your decision!" She turned back to Sasuke. "You _have_ to introduce us sometimes!"

"U-u-us, t-too!" Hinata added.

"_Yea_!" Tenten, Temari, and Ino seconded that.

"UGH! THIS IS NO FAIR!" Naruto shrieked. "HOW COME THE TEME CAN _STILL_ GET ALL THE GIRLS? IT'S JUST NOT _RIGHT_!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh... Hello Kitty didn't really make a special appearance, but I hope you still liked it!**

**Also, I made some new oneshots. Please read them. If you like the couples of SakuHina, SakuIno, or HinaTen, please read _Let's Go Party_. And review that one cuz I haven't gotten any reviews on that so far. If you like _xxxholic_, please read _Lonely Shadow_ which is a crossover of _Naruto_ and said show. And if you like _Alice in Wonderland_ and angsty stuff, please read my little poem _Well Done_. Please review them.**

**And I still need a chapter beginning with U.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	51. Misunderstanding

-In which, Deidara goes to a palm-reader

* * *

**Okay, I'm doing this all the way to 100! There's no stopping me now! I have two hundred reviews, and I'm going full out!**

**This chapter was requested by chrishuyen. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Misunderstanding~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

He had not wanted to come. He really didn't. He didn't believe in "fortune-telling." It wasn't an art that he liked. But _Leader-sama_ had told him to go. Go or be forever branded as the dude who was afraid of getting his fortune told. That hadn't scared him off. What scared him off was Leader-sama telling him that he'd turn him into the authorities if he didn't get his palm read. _That_, he could not have. And so, here he was. At the palm-reader's place. Speaking of which...

"I see in your future..."

The old hag had been going on like that for about an _hour_ already. If she didn't pick the pace up, he was going to blow this shabang up!

"I see in your future..."

Deidara decided he'd give her ten more minutes.

"I see in your future..."

9...

"I see in your future..."

_Oh, screw this! _"Lady, can you hurry it up, _yea_? Gots lots to do, _un_!"

"I see in your future . . ."

Was she _deaf_?

"_Err_ . . . lots of mouths..."

". . . Mouths, _yea_?"

"Such a dirty mouth..."

"_WHAT_?"

"So _dirty_..."

"_Un_, whose mouth is it, Lady?"

"Such an impatient person. Wants to always do things the easy way."

"SO IT'S TOBI, UN! I'LL _KILL_ HIM!" And with that, he stalked off.

"_Hey_! You forgot to pay the bill!" She shrugged once he was out of the room. "Oh, well. If his dirty mouths are out of my home then I'm good. I'm good."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Err . . . not really such a good chapter but I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Also, I made some new oneshots. Please read them. If you like the couples of SakuHina, SakuIno, or HinaTen, please read _Let's Go Party_. And review that one cuz I haven't gotten any reviews on that so far. If you like _xxxholic_, please read _Lonely Shadow_ which is a crossover of _Naruto_ and said show. If you like _Alice in Wonderland_ and angsty stuff, please read my little poem _Well Done_. If you like _PGSM_, please read _One More Drama_. Please read and review them.**

**Also, please read my new fiveshot, _The People Who Love Her And The People She Loves._ I've been getting positive reviews on that one.**

**And I still need a chapter beginning with U. (This is more of a note to myself now.)**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	52. How Could You?

-In which, Sakura "kills" Hinata

* * *

**Alright, it's a _School Rumble_ inspired chapter! I might make this into a fanfic after I'm finished with _Practical Joke_. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~How Could You?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"You're not . . . you're not going to shoot me?" Hinata asked, turning around to glance at the girl who had her foot propped up on her back. She had seen the rosette "kill" the rest of her comrades. Why was she the exception? Why was she left "alive"?

"Well, of course, I am."

The Hyuga heiress swallowed hard. So she wasn't going to spared, after all.

"It's just . . . not the right time."

The girl's eyes widened. What did she mean by that?

"HINATA-CHAN!"

"Na . . . Naruto-kun!" Thank god, her savior has come. But then she heard the gun click.

"You're _too late_, Uzumaki!" Sakura said, the gun pointing right at the back of Hinata's head.

"No! Sakura, don't you _dare_!"

_BOOM!_ Hyuga Hinata was officially out of the game.

"HINATA-CHAN! _NOOOOOOOOO_!" The blonde ran up to the unconscious girl, holding her in his arms. "Speak to me! Don't leave me!"

"Oh, _please_!" Sakura rolled her eyes. "It's just a paintball fight!"

"AS IF YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY THAT!" Naruto yelled at her. "WEREN'T YOU THE ONE GOING ON ABOUT THAT '_NOT THE RIGHT TIME_' AND '_IT'S TOO LATE_' NONSENSE?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**This one is definitely one of my best ones!**

**Also, I made some new oneshots. Please read them. If you like the couples of SakuHina, SakuIno, or HinaTen, please read _Let's Go Party_. And review that one cuz I haven't gotten any reviews on that so far. If you like _xxxholic_, please read _Lonely Shadow_ which is a crossover of _Naruto_ and said show. If you like _Alice in Wonderland_ and angsty stuff, please read my little poem _Well Done_. If you like _PGSM_, please read _One More Drama_. Please read and review them.**

**Also, please read my new fiveshot, _The People Who Love Her And The People She Loves._ I've been getting positive reviews on that one.**

**And I still need a chapter beginning with U. (This is more of a note to myself now.)**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	53. UpRooting

-In which, Ino has figured out how to kill Zetsu

* * *

**Alright, this one should explain itself! So enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Up-Rooting~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Zetsu had been through many tough times. Many, _many_ tough times. He has also killed many people. Many, _many_ people. However, one thing he has not witnessed is his next victim looking at him with a smirk on her face and chuckling to herself because his victims feared him and it was safe to say that this victim did _not_ fear him.

"What are you laughing about, girl?" he asked.

"I know how to _kill you_~!" the blonde sang.

"Oh, _really now_?" he asked. A mistake on his part, really. "And how are you going to do that?"

Ino's smirk, if possible, grew larger. "With _this_!" And in her hands was a bottle of . . .

"WEED-KILLER? OH, NOOO! HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS MY ONE WEAKNESS?"

The Yamanaka shrugged. "Heh, lucky guess."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**It's official. I have chapters beginning with every letter of the alphabet. Thank you for all of your suggestions, my reviews.**

**Also, I made some new oneshots. Please read them. If you like the couples of SakuHina, SakuIno, or HinaTen, please read _Let's Go Party_. And review that one cuz I haven't gotten any reviews on that so far. If you like _xxxholic_, please read _Lonely Shadow_ which is a crossover of _Naruto_ and said show. If you like _Alice in Wonderland_ and angsty stuff, please read my little poem _Well Done_. If you like _PGSM_, please read _One More Drama_. Please read and review them.**

**Also, please read my new fiveshot, _The People Who Love Her And The People She Loves._ I've been getting positive reviews on that one.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	54. In the Club

-In which, all it takes for Sakura to join the Akatsuki is a phone call from Naruto

* * *

**Okay! Another chapter! Enjoy!**

**P.S. I actually named this chapter after 2ne1's song.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~In the Club~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"No."

"But if you'd just listen—"

"No."

"Come on. This will just take—"

"No."

"Pretty please with sprinkles—"

"No. No. _No_!"

"Okay, I can—"

"How many times do I have to say _'no'_?"

"If you'd just join—"

"_Look_," the rosette said. "The offer is nice and all, but WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I JOIN THE _AKATSUKI_?"

"Um . . . because we have pie?"

"Heh, nice try. But there's _no way_ that I'll join—" Her phone rang then. "Hello?"

"Sakura-_chan_!" Naruto whined over the line. "I'm _hungry_! Let's go have some ramen!"

She slammed her phone down then. "On second thought, I'll join. Better pie than any more ramen."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yesterday, I finished two of my fanfics: _Stairs to Heaven_ and _The People Who Love Her and The People She Loves_. Please read them if you have time.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	55. Birthday Queen Makes the Decisions

-In which, Hinata's not as nice or as innocent as everyone thinks. "Naruto! I dare you to play the pocky game with Sasuke!"

* * *

**Yay! I got another chapter up! EnJoY!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Birthday Queen Makes the Decisions~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"_Okay_! Since it's Hinata's birthday," Ino started.

"She gets to rule for the day!" Tenten finished.

"Which means her word is law!" Sakura added.

"And your wish is our command, Your Highness!" the three said.

"Hey, Sakura?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"How come you don't do this for anyone _else's_ birthday?"

"_Because_!" Ino answered in her stead. "Hinata is the _only one_ out of all us Konoha 11 peoples to be innocent and nice!"

"Think about it," Tenten said. "If we let anyone else have reign, wouldn't it be bad for the _rest_ of us?"

"Example," Sakura added. "Lee would make us wear those green spandex suits, Kiba would make us do some perverted stuff in front of him, and Sasuke would make us leave him alone."

"Oh, that makes sense..." Naruto said, nodding.

And during all of this, no one saw Hinata's evil smile until it was too late. "Naruto-kun! I dare you to play the pocky game with Sasuke-kun!"

Everyone gasped.

"_WHAT_?" Naruto asked.

Everyone else, however, were surprised by another thing. "Hinata! You didn't stutter!"

"That's right," the birthday girl crossed her arms. "I don't stutter when I'm _this_ serious about something."

"But . . . But . . ." Naruto couldn't even find the right words.

"Sakura, you aren't _seriously_ going to go along with this, are you?" Sasuke asked, praying his girlfriend would be on his side unlike Naruto's.

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun," the rosette said. "But it's Hinata's birthday, and what she says goes."

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO KISS THE TEME FOR A _THIRD_ TIME!"

"Ditto."

"Too bad! What I says _goes_!" Hinata screamed. "Now do it! Or I'll never let you have sex or ramen ever again, Naruto-kun!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yes, Sasuke and Naruto have kissed twice in the anime.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	56. So     Nyanpire, huh?

-In which, Sakura finds out about Sasuke's role in the new anime Nyanpire

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, but I was really busy. _None_ of my fanfics have gotten updated so far, and I'm really stuck. School's starting September 8th, and I really have been getting a bad vibe because of that. Ugh, so much to do in so little time...**

**NOTE: This chapter kind of ties in with the 50th chapter. Just a little.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~So . . . Nyanpire, huh?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Sasuke knew something was up when Sakura kept stealing glances at him. Why? Well, she only did that when she was a genin way back when and, ever since he's been back, Sasuke knew Sakura was _way_ past her fangirl days. The other reason was that, with every glance she threw his way, she snickered and sang a very familiar tune that sounded strangly familiar.

It was only days later when he found out she had begun watching the new anime _Nyanpire_. Oh, crap.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn." This was not good. Sakura was using that evil-innocent voice of hers. She only used that voice when she wanted something and, if you didn't give her what she wanted, she'd use the blackmail she had on you and... Well, it was _blackmail_. What else would she do with it other than threaten to broadcast it to the whole ninja world?

"You love me, _right_?"

He nodded his head very slowly. Just where was she going with this?

"You'd _never_ keep a secret from me, _right_?"

He nodded once again. His mistake.

"Then . . ."

He never expected the explosion.

"HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR ROLE IN _NYANPIRE_? YOU HORRIBLE EXCUSE OF A BOYFRIEND! YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL _ME,_ YOUR GIRLFRIEND OF EIGHT _MONTHS,_ ABOUT YOUR ROLE AS A GAY SAMURAI CAT WHO OBVIOUSLY HAS SOME TIMELINE ISSUES! SOME BOYFRIEND YOU ARE!"

He sighed. "Sakura..." He started but never got a chance to finish.

"FIRST, IT WAS HELLO KITTY! NOW IT'S YOUR SECRET LIFE AS A VOICE ACTOR! JUST WHAT'S NEXT? ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU'RE TWO-TIMING ON ME WITH A HOOKER OF SOME SORT? _HUH_?"

"Since we're talking about secrets," Sasuke decided to say, not really changing the subject. "Let's talk about how you had accidentally kissed Neji or the fact that you and Ino went to second-base already or about the time you and Hinata went skinny-dipping."

The rosette completely paled, her anger forgotten. "Who the hell told you...?"

"Who do you _think_?"

She made a mental note to herself to kill Naruto later. She laughed uncomfortably. "Well . . . I guess some secrets are better kept secrets, after all..."

"Ditto."

"But you _do_ know that I can still use the _Nyanpire_ thing as blackmail, right? You can't blackmail me since everyone in Konoha 11 knows about the things I did since they all dared me to do that sans the Neji-Kiss thing. Naruto had accidentally pushed me there."

". . . Crap." He'd kill Naruto later.

"So about that blackmail thing... I think you'd look real good in a Sexy Jutsu form."

"You're going to make me take on your seduction mission, aren't you?"

A nod from her.

"Whatever. Hn, you know you didn't have to blackmail me into doing that, right? I was going to find a way to stop you from taking that mission anyway."

"Oh . . ."

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

". . . Did I ever tell you what a _good_ boyfriend you are?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yes, Sasuke's Japanese voice actor voices the Samurai Cat in _Nyanpire_. When I figured that out, I was laughing my ass off.**

**tHaNk YoU & ****pLeAsE rEvIeW!**


	57. Loud Much?

-In which, Fugaku snores and snores even louder

* * *

**Sorry for the really late update, but Hurricane Irene was a big issue and stuff...**

**Here's the chapter!**

**WARNING: UCHIHA FAMILY CUTENESS!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Loud Much?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

_Snfroaw...!_

"Big Brother, what's that noise?"

_Snfroaw...!_

"That, Foolish Little Brother, is Daddy snoring."

_Snfroaw...!_

"Oh..."

_Snfroaw...!_

"Big Brother, I'm scared..."

_Snfroaw...!_

"I'll tell Mother."

_Snfroaw...!_

"Fugaku dear, you're scaring Sasuke. Please stop snoring."

...

"There... Is that better, Foolish Little Brother?"

_SNFROAW!_

"No..."

_SNFROAW!_

"How in the world can he even get _louder_?"

_SNFROAW!_

"Big Brother, I'm scared of the monster."

_SNFROAW!_

"You're _always_ scared of him, Sasuke."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah... I couldn't figure out how to type out a snore...**

**Oh, please check out my poll.**


	58. Unyouthful Expensive Meals

-In which, lobsters are killed

* * *

**I'm really sorry that I haven't updated this story in the longest of times, but school has gotten out of hand! I really can't keep up with anything anymore!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Unyouthful Expensive Meals~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Okay." Kakashi took a deep breath. And another deep breath. And another but this time it was a _very_ deep breath. "Explain this to me again: you threw out the _HUGE_ ten lobsters we bought for almost _ten dollars a piece_ because they were dead _before_ you killed them?"

"That is right, my very youthful rival," Gai said.

"Gai, you put the lobsters in tap water again, didn't you?"

"Kakashi, once again, your coolness has figured out the problem without me even telling you what happened. Yes, I did put the lobsters in tap water because they were suffering and gasping for the coolness of the watery liquid."

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Um . . . Kakashi?"

"YOU _IDIOT_! LOBSTERS _DIE_ IN TAP WATER! PLUS, IF THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD THEN WE CAN JUST COOK THEM, NOT THROW THEM OUT! YOU JUST WASTED A _HUNDRED_ DOLLARS!"

"Oops, once again, Kakashi, your coolness has shown me who the better man is. Well . . . we can always go out and eat ramen, right?"

"You _better_ take that back..."

"Uh . . . Kakashi?"

"I was looking forward to a fancy meal instead of ramen with Naruto again!"

"But Kakashi—"

"LIGHTNING BLADE!"

"That's right, my youthful rival! We shall run! Run into the sunset to cool down your anger!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yes, lobsters die in tap water. Do not put lobsters (or crabs) in tap water.**

**This fanfic came out terrible!**


	59. NarutoSensei? Pfft! Yeah, Right!

-In which, Naruto has to go undercover as a teacher and everyone just laughs, all except…

* * *

**Okay! Got another chapter out! Hooray! This was actually based on something I saw on _NCSI_. Tony and Ziva all the way!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Naruto-Sensei? Pfft! Yeah, Right!~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"_Naruto_? As a _teacher_?" Sakura laughed. "That's _hilarious_!"

"The Dobe will be discovered in _seconds_!" Sasuke (not breaking his cool and aloof Uchiha pose) only smirked, choking back a stifled chuckle.

"The whole mission will go up in flames!" Sai said.

"It'll _never_ work!" Yamato exclaimed.

"Who in their _right minds_ would give Naruto _that_ cover?" Kakashi asked.

Tsunade could only glare at them. "I did."

All laughter died out then.

"_Oh_…"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Would you like some sake, Tsunade-shisou? Eh-heh-heh…"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**I lost my touch… I really did, didn't I?**

**Can't wait for the next _Shippuden_ filler! I wanna see some kunoichi action!**


	60. Special? My a!

-In which, the story behind Jiraiya's first encounter with Tsunade. He goes to kingdom-come and back because his so-called "special ability" is...

* * *

**Based off of _School Rumble_ cuz that show is awesome...**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Special? My a$$!~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Calculating boobage..."

"YOU PERVERT!" That's when a vein popped and a chakra-enhanced punch came his way.

And that's the story behind the story of how these two old love birds met...

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

_**Shippuden**_** episode 232 was actually nice... For once...**


	61. H Is For Honesty

-In which, there's a reason why you don't tell your teacher that you copied off of your bestest friends

* * *

**Whoo! I'm back! Did any of you thought I was dead? Well, I'm not! I was actually having trouble on one of my other fanfics, and so yeah...**

**This one is based of a short skit from _Azumanga Daioh_ volume three. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~H Is For Honesty~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Ok, everyone," Kakashi said, taking out some papers. "Time for a pop quiz."

Everyone started complaining then because, hey, Kakashi never actually handed out a _quiz_ before. In fact, he had never handed out work before. He was just that into his porn.

"Hey! No complaining!" he yelled. "I've had a bad enough day as it is, what with Shizune taking away my precious book..." He sniffled there.

_So_ that's_ why we have a quiz..._ his students thought. They thought it was weird when he didn't start reading his "precious book" the minute he walked into class.

"Now, if you were a good little boy or girl and did your homework over the vacation, the quiz should be no problem." Kakashi explained. "But of course," he added smugly, "it'll be _impossible_ for someone like Naruto who just copied Sakura's homework."

"And sometimes Sasuke's!" boasted the knucklehead.

"SHUT UP, YOU MORON!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah... It's not that good, but hey! I'll take it... So anyway, I added a second chapter to _THE REBELLION_ since all nine reviews on the first chapter wanted a sequel, and so I gave my devoted readers a early Christmas present. Yeah, hope you enjoy it!**


	62. Rambling Girls

-In which, though it was bad when Sakura and Karin were enemies, it's even worse now that they're friends

* * *

**Okay! Number #62~! I'm so ready for this one! It should be a good chappie~! PS, this is happening before Madara tells Sasuke the truth and in an AU where Naruto's team actually managed to get Sasuke back.**

**Oh, and yeah, it's named after After School's new song.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Rambling Girls~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

The boys—_all_ of them—were on watch. Don't get them wrong, though. They didn't _want_ to be on watch. In fact, they were horribly t-i-r-e-d. TIRED. But they couldn't sleep, so they had to be on watch. In short terms, they were _forced_ to do this. No, they weren't intentially forced. They were _un_intentially forced. By the two redheaded girls.

No, they weren't threatened by the girls. And no, they didn't fall into the traps of their female willies, or whatever that was called. Nope. They were on watch because they couldn't fall asleep. And they couldn't fall asleep because…

"So anyway, as I was thinking, we should _totally_ go on a shopping spree once we're back in Konoha."

"That's a great idea, Sakura-chan! I can finally buy those shoes you were eyeing for so long!"

"Aw, Karin-chan~! You don't have to!"

Naruto groaned. Even though he had his ears covered and the girls were all the way down below the treetops, he could _still_ hear them and God knew who else. "_Teme_," he whined. "Make it _stop_!"

"_Tch_, _I'm_ not going down there."

"Pussy."

"Speak for yourself, dobe."

"Oh, and speaking of getting new shoes," they heard Karin say. "Did you ever break in those new heels you bought last week yet?"

"No. I didn't have the time. I was thinking of wearing them to training with Naruto and Sasuke. I think those four-inched heels would give my kick a little new twist. I'm sure the boys would like my new make-a-hole-in-them jutsu."

The two rivals winced at the thought. They _so weren't_ being used as targets just so Sakura could break in her shoes!

"Actually, I can always get Suigetsu to do it for you!"

The water-boy cursed when he heard Karin's suggestion. Meanwhile, Juugo could only pat his friend's shoulder in condolences.

"I mean, he's made of water anyway! He can't get blisters _at all_! And if he complains, I can just replace all of his water with cooking oil! He can't refuse!"

"That's a great idea! You know, if this idea works then we can _totally_ save ourselves the trouble of breaking in our shoes ourselves!"

"Yeah! Oh, and we should totally get Ino, Hinata, and Tenten in on this too! I'm sure they'd love this too!"

Naruto, Sasuke, and Juugo could only turn to look at Suigetsu and wish him luck.

"Why _me_?" the ex-Kiri nin wanted to cry.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Yeah... It's not that funny, but I'll take it!**

**Start giving me some ideas, you guys! I need it!**

**Oh, and if you guys like fanfics containing a dark Sakura then read my new story, _The Reason I Became a Witch_.**


	63. Bubble Pop!

-In which, he knew it was a bad idea to kidnap a Konoha kunoichi and take her hostage, but Orochimaru just had to ignore him

* * *

**Whoo! Another one! Yippee!**

**P.S: If you're wondering why I put Sakura in so many of these oneshots, it's because she's my favorite character, and she's fun to write cuz she has a lot of potential. If you want to see another character, please just say so in your review.**

**P.S 2: I am working on _Sakura DOROPPUSU_ and _Two He__arts and A Red Sin_, but I'm stuck on writer's block right now. I don't really know how to write out the chapter I want.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Bubble Pop!~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

Kabuto knew it was a bad idea to kidnap a Konoha kunoichi and take her hostage, but Orochimaru just _had_ to ignore him. The snake sannin had argued that it was very _necessary_ to kidnap Sasuke's ex-teammate. For whatever reason, however, remained unknown. And what came known was the fact that Kabuto had a whole _floor_ of angry Oto Nin dressed in pink, frilly dresses!

"What's up with this, Kabuto?"

"We demand our rights!"

"This is just _inhumane_!"

"Just _look_ at us!"

And look at them, Kabuto did. And he found it hard to not laugh. "Now," he cleared his throat. "The problem is _not_ as bad as it seems. This is all a part of Lord Orochimaru's wonderful plan!"

"WONDERFUL OUR _ASSES_!"

"WE'RE DRESSED IN _PINK_!"

"WE'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE _WHOLE_ NINJA WORLD!"

"Now, now," Kabuto attempted to calm them down. "I know you're all _angry_ about this, but—"

"WE'RE NOT MAD! WE'RE _FURIOUS_!"

"Well, don't take it out on me!" Kabuto protested. "Take it out on the kunoichi!"

"But . . . she's _scary_!"

"Oh, come on, there's _thousands_ of you and _one_ of her! How hard can it be for you all to beat her up?" Kabuto asked. "And you call yourselves ninja."

And the explosion of complaints came bursting like a dam.

"SHE'S A _DEMON_!"

"SHE'S A _DEVIL_!"

"SHE'S A _WITCH_!"

"SHE'S A MINI-_TSUNADE_!"

"_So_?" Kabuto asked. He _really_ wanted to go to bed. It was one in the _morning_, for Kami's sake! "She's just a _girl_!"

"YEAH, A GIRL THAT CAN _CASTRATE_ US!"

"AND CAN THROW BOULDERS!"

"AND CAUSE EARTHQUAKES!"

"And *sniffs* make us miss our mommies…"

The medic nin sighed. "Fine, if I go talk to Lord Orochimaru, will you all let me go back to _sleep_?"

"_YES_!" And their eyes lit up like children's at the first sight of candy. "THANK YOU, LORD KABUTO!"

"_HEY_!" A loud voice called from her prison-now-turned-Pink Paradise. "CAN'T A HOSTAGE GET ANY _REST_ AROUND HERE?"

Kabuto could any shake his head when he saw all the Oto Nin cower like cowards. And they were supposed to be evil henchmen. _My, how our standards have dropped…_

✿｡.:**:.｡✿

Kabuto had stayed true to his words and went to see Orochimaru once the sun had risen (though he was tempted not to as revenge against those ninja for ruining his beauty sleep). He explained everything to Orochimaru, but the ex-Konoha nin just laughed.

"Yes, Kabuto, I know it looks bad _now_." the Sannin said. "But you have to look on the bright side of things."

"And what's that, Lord Orochimaru?" Seriously, Kabuto could see no bright side.

"If this is what she can demand out of the rest of the Oto Nin, imagine what she can do if she combined her forces with _Karin_! Sasuke-kun would be in _serious_ trouble then, and then . . . heh-heh, that boy will know _never_ to sass me again! _A-hahaha_!"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

"_Seriously_? _That__'s_ why I had to risk _my_ ass to kidnap the Hokage's apprentice?"

"Oh, come now, Kabuto. I _did_ offer Sasuke-kun's help, but you insisted on going alone. And besides, you _can't_ tell me you _don't_ want to get back at Sasuke-kun for breaking all _twenty_ pairs of your spare glasses."

". . . Well…"

"Then it's _settled_! The girl _stays_!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Ooh, I kinda don't like this one.**

**Start giving me some ideas, you guys! I need it!**

**Oh, and if you guys like fanfics containing a dark Sakura then read my new story, _The Reason I Became a Witch_.**

**Also, CHECK OUT MY POLL!**


	64. Scenarios

-In which, there's a reason why Team Hebi would not make good authors . . . or even wedding planners

* * *

**Yes, yes! Another chappie! Need a few more to a hundred, need prompts! Also, check out my poll!**

**Oh, and by the way, this chapter is only dialogue, and so Karin's dialogue's in bold, Suigetsu's regular, and Juugo's slanted.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Scenarios~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Hey, Karin, Juugo!"

**"What is it _now_?"**

_"Is it something important, Suigetsu?"_

"Well . . . not _really_, but you know how Sasuke's all revenge-obsessed, right?"

**"Hmp, who could forget?" _I still need to get my revenge on him for trying to kill me_.**

_"Is this about Sasuke going to Konoha just five minutes ago?"_

"Yes, Juugo, my _man_! You know, there's a reason why you're my favorite teammate, though you get these weird killing urges."

**"Cut to the point!"**

"Yeah, yeah, bitch. So anyway, what if he _wasn't_ going for revenge?"

_"Okay, you've lost us…"_

**"As he always does, Juugo. As he always does…"**

"Quiet, _witch_! So anyway, what if he was going to stop a _wedding_?"

_"Um . . . Suigetsu, you do know that Konoha hasn't scheduled a wedding, right?"_

**"Oh, but it'd be _so_ romantic!"**

"_Finally_! Something we agree upon!"

**"It'd be just absolutely _wonderful_ if he were to stop Naruto's wedding and take Sakura right out of the chapel and kiss her and ask her to marry her and have babies with her and—"**

"Whoa, _whoa_! Let's keep this PG, alright? First of all, I thought _you_ liked Sasuke! Now you're rooting for _pinkie_?"

**"Well . . . that's the only couple that makes sense now. I mean, can you _see_ any other girl who could actually keep Sasuke-kun in check?"**

_"She_ does_ have a point."_

"Okay, yeah, I see it, too. But I wasn't talking about him taking _Sakura_!"

**". . . What?"**

_"Suigetsu, I don't think Sasuke would just randomly crash a wedding."_

**"Well, unless it's one of the Elders', of course."**

"Let's get back on topic! He wouldn't be stealing _Pinkie_ away!"

_"Then _who_?"_

"Naruto, of course!"

"**WHAT THE F**K?"**

_"Well . . . I didn't know you rolled that way, Suigetsu…"_

**"I can't _believe_ I just heard _that_!"**

"Or better yet, he'd take the _minister_!"

**"What the _Hell_ is going through your _mind_?"**

"Well, at least, it's less _clichéd_ than yours!"

**"Hey, mine was a romantic's at heart's!"**

"Oh, don't make me gag! It was so _sappy_!"

**"And yours was just plain weird and—"**

_"Hm, what if there was a twist that we didn't see coming?"_

**"Like what, Juugo?"**

"Oh, you listen to _him_?"

**"He has more common sense than you!"**

"Hey, I resent that!"

_"What if he was going to stop the wedding because he, Naruto, and Sakura are all _siblings_?"_

"**WHAT THE F***ING F**K?"**

"Haha! And you said he has more common sense!"

_"Well, there h_as_ been a lot of family drama going on lately. Perhaps it's just going to build up to that."_

"Yeah, and Madara's going to turn out to be a girl who has a crush on Pinkie."

**"And Itachi's going to marry Naruto. At the very least, Suigetsu's idea had a good basis to go on."**

_"Hey, life is very unexpected! You don't know what could happen."_

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Ooh, I _really_ don't like this one.**

**The chapter was based on a scene from the Korean drama _My Girlfriend's a Nine-Tailed Fox._**

**Start giving me some ideas, you guys! I _need_ it!**

**Oh, and if you guys like fanfics containing a dark Sakura then read my new story, _The Reason I Became a Witch_.**

**Also, CHECK OUT MY POLL!**


	65. Baby Duo Equals Naruto's Doom?

-In which, what Madara couldn't accomplish could be done by two little babies

* * *

**Yes, yes! Another chappie! I really hated that last chapter!**

**Need a few more to a hundred, need prompts! Also, check out my poll!**

**I figured I do something like this since there are a lot of baby fics. Enjoy!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Baby Duo Equals Naruto's Doom?~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Oh, dear, this is _bad_..."

"You're telling _me_! Kakashi-sensei, _both_ Teme and Sakura-chan look like they want to _kill_ me!"

"I'm . . . I'm sure that's not the case, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah? Then how do you explain their evil-eyed 'I'm-gonna-kill-you-Naruto/Dobe' glare, Hinata-chan?"

"_Well_ . . ."

"_See_? I'm dead, Hinata-chan! Dead! _Dead_!" And with that, Naruto fell to the ground, buried his face in the dirt, and cried a river of tears. "My life's _ruined_!"

**_Your_ life's ruined?** Both Sasuke and Sakura seemed to think along those lines. They glanced at each other and started plotting out their stupid teammate's slow and painful death.

"Well . . ." Kakashi tried to think of something to say to cheer Naruto up. "At least, Tsunade hasn't found out yet. Imagine what will happen when she finds out that her top medic and one of her top shinobi are babies."

But all that did was make Naruto cry even more. "Oh, no! I'll _never_ become Hokage if that happened!" He gasped and hugged his sensei's ankles. "Kakashi-_sensei_! You _have_ to help me! I can't die _yet_! I'm only _eigthteen_! I'm too _young_ to die!"

"Goo-gioonk _gah_-guoo!" **You think _you're_ young? **"Joo-u-gah goo ehch awga ha-saa-uu-k!" **Just look at me and Sasuke-kun!**

"Hn." **You _better_ fix this, dobe.**

"_Aw_! You two are just so . . . so _cute_!" And Hinata went to pick up her girl friend. "Especially _you_, Sakura-chan! So adorable! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

"Hee-ah-na-_an_!" **Hinata-_chan_!** Baby Sakura looked as though she would start crying.

"Aw, is someone a bit _grumpy_?"

"_Gahpy_?" **_Grumpy_?** "Id u _saey_ saa-uu-k?" **Did you _see_ Sasuke-kun?**

And everyone, though they didn't understand Sakura at all, turned to stare at the Uchiha who was glaring at his rival.

"_Yikes_..." was Kakashi's only response.

"I . . . I never knew a baby could glare like _that_..." Hinata said.

"His aura . . . it's scarier . . . than Orochimaru." Naruto said, finally done crying.

"Orow-i-maa-roo?" **Orochimaru?** (A/N: Did I need to translate that?) Baby Sakura's head turned this way and that. "Oo-eier?" **Where? **Being a little baby reversed all of Sakura's courage, tears were now forming in her eyes. "Oo-eier esz de secri mmein?" **Where is the scary man?**

"Oh, no, now you've done it." Kakashi said, now covering his ears.

Baby Sasuke ran up to Hinata and pulled on the girl's shirt. "Stouop er!" **Stop her!** "bdEfour...!" **Before...!**

"Now, now, Saki, don't—"

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Sakura's cry was so loud that the whole ninja world and the whole ninja afterworld could hear. "IIISSSOOOOU!" **SSSHISSSOOOOU!**

"OH, NOO!" Naruto was panicking now. "She called for—"

But before Naruto could finish his sentence, the whole world seemed to have turned into the apacolypse. The birds stopped singing, the earth started shaking, trees were falling, and a trail of smoke rose in the air.

"WHERE _IS_ SHE?"

"Oh, lord..." Kakashi's face paled. "Naruto, you better run."

"_WHERE'S_ MY APPRENTICE?"

"Eh-heh, how much do you want to bet that she'll come directly after _me_?" Naruto asked. "I mean, maybe she'll go after Sasuke?"

"_NARUTO_!"

"Nope!" Baby Sasuke smirked.

"COME OUT AND FACE ME LIKE THE WORM YOU _ARE_!"

"Yikes!" And Naruto, not knowing what to do, hid his head in the ground like an osterich would.

"Hn, Dobe."

"NARUTO!" Tsunade was upon them in seconds. She grabbed Naruto's collar and ripped him out of the dirt and shook him in the air. "WHERE—IS—MY—_APPRENTICE_?"

"Well . . . funny thing . . . about that..." Kakashi laughed nervously and pointed at Hinata. "She's right there."

And Tsunade froze and her head slowly turned to the Hyuga heiress. For a long, long, long, long while, she didn't move and only stared. But once she regained herself, she dropped Naruto, and her head turned from him and then back to Hinata over and over again.

"Baachan?" Naruto asked, too afraid of her reaction. _Oh, god, here it comes... I, Uzumaki Naruto, leave all my belongings to—_

"HOLY S**T! HINATA, WHEN WERE YOU _PREGNANT_?" Tsunade shrieked. "CONGRADS! But Hinata, how come those children don't look like you or Naruto and like Sakura and Sasuke?"

"Well . . . that . . ." Hinata was turning bloody red.

Baby Sakura reached out for her teacher. "I . . . I . . . Isou..." **Shisou...** She cried.

"HOLD THE COW! IT _IS_ SAKURA AND SASUKE, ISN'T IT?"

"Hn?" **It? We're _people_, you know!** Sasuke was back to glaring now.

And Tsunade was back to holding Naruto by the collar and shaking him til he turned blue and red and black. "YOU FOOL! DO YOU THINK KONOHA CAN SURVIVE ANOTHER PUBERTY FROM THOSE TWO? SASUKE WENT CRAZY WITH 'I-GOTTA-DESTROY-KONOHA' REVENGE AND SAKURA WAS WRECKING BUILDINGS! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO COMPENSATE FOR THE FUTURE DAMAGE, HUH?"

**That was _so NOT_ puberty! **both Baby Sakura and Sasuke were now glaring at Tsunade. But if things kept going like this then they couldn't gurantee the safety of their home village.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Ooh, this one's a bit nicer!~**

**Start giving me some ideas, you guys! I _need_ it!**

**Also, CHECK OUT MY POLL!**


	66. I My Me Mine

-In which, they fight over who has rights to call themselves Sakura's mentor

* * *

**Yay! Another chappie! I hope you guys like this one as much as you liked the last chapter!**

**Oh, by the way, I'm going to make the last chapter into a multi-chapter story. I already put that chapter up as a separate story as well. Expect the next chapter within two months.**

**I think this chapter is a bit unique because I can't find any Kakashi vs. Tsunade fanfics/plots/side stories about who really is Sakura's teacher. And so, here it is!**

**Enjoy!**

**(P.S. the chapter is named after 4minute's song.)**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~I My Me Mine~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

As the three higher-ranking shinobi watched as Sai and Sakura sparred, they couldn't help but wince when the ex-ANBU root member recieved a punch—a very _hard_ punch—to his stomach.

_Ouch_, all three of them thought. _That's _gotta _hurt..._

"Isn't she just the greatest?" Tsunade said, smugly with a smirk.

"Um . . . excuse me, Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi pretended as though he had not heard correctly. "But was it me or did it seem as though you were taking _credit_ for how Sakura has turned out?"

"Well, it is my due, after all." the Lady Hokage said, her eyes narrowing. "She is_ my _student."

Yamato began to scoot away. Was it him or did Tsunade sound feral just now?

"Yes, but who taught her the basics?" Kakashi asked.

"_Tch_, not _you_!"

"Hey! I resent that! I taught her chakra control!"

"_Ha_! When? And don't say running up the tree! Climbing a tree does _not_ count as _precise_ chakra control!"

"It _so_ does! Even Naruto and Sasuke couldn't do it on their first try!"

"Yeah, but did you even teach her anything _else_ when she got it on _her_ _first try_?"

"Well . . ."

Tsunade's smile grew wider. It looks like she won that round.

"She was put on _my_ genin team! Where were _you_ when she just started out, _huh_?"

That smile just turned upside down. "How _dare_ you bring that up! I was _out_ of Konoha at that time, as you know!"

"Yeah, out of Konoha, running away because of _your_ past mistakes!"

Yamato gasped. Oh, he did _not_ just go there.

"Why you...!" Tsunade was about to pounce on Kakashi when...

"HEY, SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto's voice could be heard from around the world. "SASUKE-TEME AGREED TO COME HOME! ISN'T THAT GREAT?"

The three shinobi watched as Sakura fainted from either happiness, excess anger, or fear.

Yamato just shook his head. "Well, _that_ doesn't seem like a good sign."

"You know what, Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi suggested. "When Sakura has boy troubles, she's _your_ student."

"Oh, don't you _dare_ drop her on _me_, Kakashi! She's _your_ student once the Uchiha steps within a mile of the village!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, it's not as good as the last one, but . . . . okay!**

**Start giving me some ideas, you guys! I _need_ it!**

**Also, CHECK OUT MY POLL!**


	67. Go Round

-In which, they try so hard to fight for Sasuke's freedom that they stretch the truth out a bit too much. In fact, it's just nonsense!

* * *

**Yippee! Another chapter! I hope you guys like it! I based it off of chapter 159 of _Goong_. **

**This chapter is also named after Namie Amuro's new song! Love it and the MV!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Go Round~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Your Council . . . Highness, I guess? And your Clan . . . Majesties?" Naruto looked to Sakura for help on the appropriate titles, but the pinkette didn't know either and so he just kept with them. "Teme—I mean, Uchiha Sasuke is _really_ a good kid! Well . . ." he thought about it for a moment. "Minus his emo self."

"And his temper," Sakura added.

"And his superiority complex," Naruto remembered.

"And his ability to summon three ninja animals," Sakura said, remembering the snakes, hawks, and cats.

"And don't forget his obsession with revenge!" Kakashi reminded them from his jury seat.

The Uchiha could feel his eyebrow twitching. _Were_ they trying to help him? Or insult him?

"Yes, we know how hard he is to deal with," Naruto said to Tsunade, the council, and the clan heads.

"Very, _very_ hard to deal with," Sakura said.

_We can tell..._ the higher-ups thought.

"But without the village and its guidance," Naruto pleaded, "he will be as helpless as a newborn baby!"

_Um . . . not really, Dobe,_ Sasuke thought. _That would be _you.

"Or he will be taken in by _wolves_!" Sakura yelled. "He will become an ill-fated half-wolf half-emo child with only misfortune as his friend! And he will be even _more_ misguided and may run rampage again and pillage other villages!"

_I will _not_,_ Sasuke huffed. _And just for the record, wolves would be so much better than Orochimaru and Madara combined._

"And not being able to adjust..." Sakura and Naruto started.

"Uchiha Sasuke will resort to women and alcohol and end up as a failure or die or AIDS and HIV!" Kakashi, Konoha 11, and the members of Team Hebi joined in at this last part.

_Um . . . really?_ Both Tsunade and Sasuke thought this. _Who would fall for this crap? _But when they looked over to the council and the clan heads, they saw a bunch of gullible fools teary-eyed and sniffling. _Wow... This world just gets filled with more and more gullible fools, huh?_

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, not really funny but yea...**

**Who else was surprised to find out that Karin is related to Naruto?**


	68. Volume Up

-In which, Sasuke knew putting Sakura and Karin together was a bad idea

* * *

**Yippee! Another chapter! It's really not that funny, I think. I just wanted to experiment with some curses. It sounded weird to me.**

**Named after the jazzy new song from 4minute. It has a very nice music video. Check it out!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Volume Up~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Why the _fuck_ do you have to compete with me for?" Sakura asked, her arms crossed. She had been tied up, but her inhuman strength had just ripped through the ropes. Some smart kidnappers Team Hebi was...

"What do you mean? I don't want to—"

"That's _bullshit_! You just want attention, don't you?" The cherry blossom turned back to the red-haired witch. "Watch and learn, you fugly bitch!" And Sakura lunged at Karin who just dodged quickly while Suigetsu and Juugo just clapped at the wonderful show they were going to get.

("Catfight! Catfight!" the two cheered from the sidelines.)

"Watch _what_? Your fat pinky little head bob up and down?"

("Ooh...")

"You're messing with the wrong person, you hoe!"

("Wow," Suigetsu commented, "For a nice-looking girl, that Sakura chick sure can curse.")

Sasuke could only shake his head and mentally groan. Sakura and Karin had been at it since they had captured the former as a ransom for Naruto. He now regretted his decision. It had been smart to do so to get to the Kyuubi but a big headache while waiting for Naruto to actually show up. Now Sasuke remembered why he had promised himself to _never_ let Sakura and Karin meet. In the words of Shikamaru, girls were just too troublesome.

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, I'm really losing my mojo...**

**Anyone heard any more news about the new _Naruto_ movie? Also, are the new _Shippuden_ episodes just little scenes from the orginal _Naruto_ anime or legit _new_ scenes drawn out?**


	69. Remember

-In which, this is the only way for Shino to be remembered...

* * *

**FInally! I updated _something_! Sorry , you all! But end of the school year means lots of last minute projects and tests! Hopefully, I have time in the summer to update quicker.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Remember~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE SHINO _HOKAGE_?"

"Well, why not?" Tsunade asked in a slur. "I mean, he's always _complaining_ that _no one EVER_ remembers him. This would be a good way for him to get . . . um, what's that word?"

"Um, recognition?" Shizune asked.

"Oh, yeah, that."

"Did you forget that Naruto will hate you forever if you did that? I mean, you did put him through all those _tests_ and _exams_ and made him read all those _boring_ political books that even the First Hokage hated writing. Hell, you put Naruto in something deeper than the shit in Hell, and yet you're not going to give him the Hokage position that everyone wants to give to him? Aren't you afraid that Naruto will forever bothering you about that?" _And a revenge-bent Naruto can only be as bad as a revenge-bent Sasuke._ Shizune shuddered at the thought.

"Eh! Who _cares_?"

"Damn, you really _are_ drunk, aren't you, Lady Tsunade?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**This is a HORRIBLE CHAPTER! I'm sorry, but I have no inspiration these days. It feels like I'm dying or worse, depressed!**

**Ideas would be nice!**

**And I finally finished the _Goong_ manhwa! Yippee! It was a nice ending, but it was so cheesy and I wished they had a wedding, not just that kiss! Ooh, and Shin's little brother is so adorable! I can only imagine a little Sasuke doing that to his older brother or even vice versa! Hee-hee!**


	70. Dilly Dally

-In which, Tsunade hears about Sasuke's plan to kill the Elders. And she wants in on it.

* * *

**Whoo! I updated!**

**Also, I realized I made a mistake in the author's note of chapter 27. That one's based on _High Kick_, not _Dragon Ball Z_. Sorry for the confusion.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Dilly Dally~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"Wait, so you're telling me that you wanted to destroy _all_ of Konoha just because you wanted to kill the _Elders_?" Tsunade asked, her eyes wide.

"Um . . . yeah." Sasuke just shrugged. It wouldn't do him much good if he lied to the Hokage anyway.

"Why, you saucy boy! You're such an idiot! If you wanted to kill the Elders then all you had to do was _ask_!"

"Yeah, I know it was stupid but—wait, _what_?"

"Um . . . Lady Tsunade, are you _drunk_?" Sakura asked.

"NO, I'M NOT DRUNK! Do you have _any idea_ how _annoying_ those old geezers are? Uchiha, you may hate them, but _I_ have to _deal_ with them EVERY SINGLE DAY! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! CRAZY, I TELL YOU! _CRAZY_!"No one doubted Tsunade on that note. "I'm gonna help you, Uchiha. In fact, I'll drop all charges against you right now, and I'll see to it that tomorrow you get your chance. I'll even stop all the ANBU for you."

Team 7 could only glance at each in apprehension. Exactly what did Tsunade have planned?

✿｡.:**:.｡✿

"UCHIHA, ARE YOU _COLOR-BLIND_?" Tsunade screamed through the megaphone from the top of Hokage tower. "I SAID THE NICE TINY LITTLE _BROWN_ SHACK IN THE CORNER OF THE VILLAGE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU GO TO THE _RED_ ONE, _HUH_?"

Shizune could only shake her head at the sight of this. _Some stealth mission _this_ turned out to be..._

"OY, INUZUKA, I TOLD YOU TO LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR! DO YOU _SEE_ ANYONE _ELSE_ MOVING THEIR FINGERS? DO YOU _WANT_ THE ELDERS TO KNOW THAT WE'RE CONSPIRING AGAINST THEM? _STAY DOWN_ _OR I'LL PUNCH YOU SEVEN-FEET UNDER_! YOU HEAR ME?"

_I think the Elders are already on the run with this much ruckus..._

"Um . . . you know, Lady Tsunade, if you wanted to kill the Elders so badly then why not make Naruto Hokage?" Sakura suggested. "I mean, they are kinda of ancient. Once they realize you made the town idiot Hokage, they'd probably die of a heart attack."

Tsunade thought about that for a moment and then screamed, "NO WAY! THIS IS TOO MUCH _FUN_! I'M NOT LETTING THEM OFF _THAT_ EASY! YOU HEAR THAT, YOU OLD GEEZERS? I'M GONNA LAUGH WHEN YOU DIE! HAHA_HA_!"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, not really good...**

**BTW, last day of school for me today! Whoo! But I can't believe Kahi is leaving After School in September! It won't be the same without her! Wah!**


	71. Quests of Revenge? Big NoNo

-In which, Tobi/Madara gets the best plan ever to break up the dream team AKA Team 7

* * *

**Yay! Updated!**

**PS. If you read any of my other stories, please read the bottom author's note because it will partain to you.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~Quests of Revenge? Big No-No~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

"So . . ." Tobi/Madara said in this cool evil voice. "You're going to betray me, Sasuke? After _all_ that we've been through? And you're going to leave me for _them_?"

"Tch, we've been through nothing, you lying piece of s***. Plus," Sasuke said, pointing to Naruto and Sakura, "If I don't go back to them, they'll forever haunt me once they're dead."

"Yep! Yep!" his two teammates said. "Haunt you _and_ give your location to your hordes of fangirls!"

"Oh, well," the masked man shrugged, "You left me no choice, my dear boy, but to show you how wrong your choice really is." Tobi/Madara held out his hands in what looked to be a hand sign, but no. He held his hand to his mouth and yelled, "Hey, Kyuubi-boy and Pinkie! Which Sasuke do you like better? This emo, sulking one that tried to _kill_ both of you _countless_ of times or the Tsukuyomi one who was the _bestest_ friend you could ask for and a _really_ nice guy and great kisser?"

"Oh, please," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. _We all know who they're going to pick. _

"Well, the Tsukuyomi one was a lot nicer..."

_Damn you, Dobe! I can_ never_ count on you, can I?_

"But Naruto, _that_ Sasuke was only an illusion, after all. He's nothing in comparison to the _real_ Sasuke."

_Thank you, Sakura!_

"But of course, I have to admit, that Sasuke _was_ the better one in sense of fashion, words, and moves. And he _was_ a great kisser!"

"YOU TWO ARE BOTH _TRAITORS_!"

"Sorry, Teme..."

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun..."

"But seriously, Teme, you're in no position to say that. After all, who betrayed us _first_?"

"Yeah, and who tried to kill us, choke me, and left me on a _FREAKIN' BENCH_?"

Sasuke could only rub his throbbing forehead. "F*** my life."

Meanwhile, Tobi/Madara held up a sign that said, "Free tomatoes on the dark side!" And he did a little jig before stating, "If you come back to me, I'll even give you a whole cart of juicy red tomates!"

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Eh, very bad... Very, VERY, bad...**

**BTW, I will not be able to get any updates done in the month of July. My grandpa is coming in from Malaysia and so we've planned out a lot of sightseeing things with him, so I won't be home for most of those days. Plus, I will be nowhere near a computer. Sorry...**

**But I am working on Two Hearts, so please be patient with me, readers. I will get that up maybe before Tuesday. If not by then, then maybe before August or in early August.**


	72. But I Gotta Go

-In which, Shikamaru needs to use the bathroom and Temari just shuts him out

* * *

**Yay! Updated! Inspired by what I did to my sister today!**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~But I Gotta Go!~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

_Finally! She's done!_ Our favorite genius thinks when he hears the running water stop.

He walks towards the bathroom, and he sees Temari in the doorway.

He stops and steps to the side so that she can pass through.

He wonders why she's smiling at him.

He wonders why she's reaching for the door knob.

He wonders why the door is closing.

Wait a minute! The door is _closing_!

The door _is_ closed!

"WHAT THE _HELL_? YOU TROUBLESOME _WOMAN_!"

And he's knocking and pounding hard on the door.

"Sorry!" he hears from the bathroom. "But I gotta go too!"

"TROUBLESOME WOMAN!" _I should've stayed with Ino..._

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Done!**


	73. The Haruno Family

-In which, Sakura's parents are embarrassing

* * *

**Yay! Updated! Loosely inspired by Sanae and Akio from _Clannad_, love them! Also, titled inspired by _Big Dango Family_ or_ Dango Daikazoku_. I just _LOVE Clannad_! ****Oh, and I recycled an idea I used in _Akatsuki no Kuruma_.**

* * *

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

❤❀~The Haruno Family~❀❤

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

When Sasuke returns to Konoha, he is put on house arrest. But with the Uchiha District being rebuilt and all that, he had to choose between Kakashi, Naruto, Sai, or Sakura as a housemate. And his thoughts on the matter were, _Kakashi? I have a feeling that I'm going to be scarred for life if I stay with him. Naruto? Hn, I don't want ramen for all three daily meals. Sai? No way he's drawing any more pictures of me. Sakura? . . . . I_ guess_ she's okay..._

And so, off to Sakura's house it was! Sasuke had thought his decision was the best one he could make in the situation—after all, the cherry blossom was no longer a fangirl of his and was a lot more mature than even Kakashi was at times—until he met her parents.

"Now, see here, _boy_!" Haruno Kizashi had said after being briefed about his new house guest. "I've got some rules here, and you _better_ listen to them!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Sakura facepalm and knew that this may not end well.

"Rule Number One: if the house blows up either because of Sakura's mother's cooking or any other reasons, you must let Sakura hide behind you. I don't care if you are injured beyond repair or dead. You _must NOT _let my darling baby girl get hurt! One injury and you'll be answering to _me_!"

_What am I?_ Sasuke thought, his eyebrow twitching as Naruto only laughed at his friend's predicament. _A human _shield_?_

"And on another note, these are the conditions of which you must follow during your confinement at my humble abode." And from his shirt pocket, Kizashi took out a long list of conditions. "You're forbidden to touch Sakura's clothes, body, or hair. You're forbidden to utter any comments that could be considered as an improper advance towards her. If I hear one word of complaint out of you, you'll be paying rent. Furthermore, you're forbidden to smell her scent, steal her things, and have improper thoughts about her. You're also forbidden to enter her room. If you have to ask a favor of her then I expect you to get down on your knees and beg her to help you. Also, if she does something for you out of the kindness of her sweet and innocent heart then you must thank her by kissing her feet a hundred times. And if you have no choice but to touch her then you are required to wear gloves. Lastly, do not get one scratch on her even at the cost of your own _life_. If she dies on your watch, there'll be Hell to pay! You hear me?"

_What the Hell?_ Sasuke blanched at every single requirement on that list while Sakura could only scream, "_Otousan_!"

"Failure to comply by these rules will result in you eating Sakura's mother's food!"

"Okay, that—Wait, _what_?" Sasuke asked of Sakura and Naruto, the latter whispering, "You don't want to know."

"You act all tough now," Kizashi sneered, "But once you taste my wife's horrific cooking, you'll wish you'd _never_ crossed me! A-ha-ha-ha!"

"_Anoo_ . . . Otousan?" Sakura pointed to behind her father. "Okaasan is . . ."

When Kizashi turned around, he was met with Haruno Mebuki's crying face.

"So that's *sniffles* what my slaving over a hot stove all day *sniffles* means to you?" she asked, the tears ready to pour out of her eyes. "A way to *sniffles* to torture an ex-criminal?"

"No, _wait_! Mebu-_chan_!" But it was too late. Sakura's mother had run out of the house crying. And Kizashi had another problem to deal with. "Aw, _crap_, Sakura-hime, why are _you_ crying?"

"All I wanted *sniffles* was for you not to embarrass me *sniffles* in front of my teammates," Sakura cried, "But you and Okaasan *sniffles* you both are _terrible_!" And she ran up the stairs to her room crying.

"Ah, _no_! Who am I supposed to run after?" Kizashi seemed to ask of no one. "My sweet, beautiful Mebu-chan? Or my precious, flower Sakura-hime?"

"Oy, Haruno-san," the neighbor yelled from outside. "Mebuki-san is almost out of the village gates again!"

And with that, Kizashi's mind was made up. "OH, WAIT, MEBU-BABY! I _LOVE_ YOUR COOKING!" All that was left of him was a trail of smoke.

"_Okay_...?" Kakashi said, a little spaced out by the whole event. "Now who's chasing after Sakura-chan?" he asked cheerfully.

"_Tch_, not me," Sasuke said, "That was all the black drama I could take in one day."

"Hey, be grateful that you're not living with Dickless," Sai said.

"Hey," Naruto spoke up, "It sounds like Sakura-chan is packing up her things."

"You might have spoken too soon, Sai," Kakashi added. "If Sakura moves out of the house, Sasuke might have to stay with Naruto, after all."

And that was all that was needed for Sasuke to make up his mind. "No, wait, you annoying girl! Your parents aren't all _that_ bad!" And he was up the stairs and in her room in less than five seconds.

"_Hey_!" Naruto yelled, totally insulted. "What's wrong with living with _me_? I'm not _that_ horrible, you know!"

Kakashi could only console him by patting the boy's shoulder.

Meanwhile, across the village...

"_ACK_! FATHER SENSES TINGLING! THAT BOY'S IN MY PRECIOUS BABY'S ROOM! MEBU-CHAN, GET COOKING!"

"IS THAT *sniffles* ALL MY COOKING IS TO YOU? A WAY TO *sniffles* TO SCARE OFF SAKURA'S POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND?"

"NO, WAIT, MEBU-BABY! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT _AT ALL_! AND WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A POTENTIAL _BOYFRIEND_?"

✿°. ·∴终わる∴· .°✿

°∴✿° ·°✿∴° .·°∴°·. °∴✿°· °✿∴°

* * *

**Done! I love this one!**


End file.
